sbmotto's romance planet

im gonna get some liquid sunshine, so im all cracked out when i write the blog.

So the Red-Eye is a local rag that I only pick up on Mondays to Wednesdays because that's when the Sudokus are easy enough for me to do them. And here are the horoscopes from "Romance Planet" the daily bullshit generator.

MH: pisces

Mars is reminding you that unless you get clear about your goals, you'll never achieve them. If your dream is to have 2.5 kids, an SUV and a spouse, ask yourself if you are on the path to achieving this. If not, make some adjustments to your life strategy.

MH. If you only had 2.5 kids would you rather have just the top half or just the bottom half? Or would you sell it on the black market? I know someone at Paddy's Pub in Philadelphia that could help you out.

AMO: Cancer

Money issues have been a major pain in the but for you this year with financial planner Jupiter opposite your sign. The good news? This lasts only a few more months. The bad news? This lasts a few more months. Demand massages from your honey until you feel better.

So you're still poor? I suspected as much.

M1: Virgo

Three planets are conspiring to bring you a breakthrough. Maybe you'll finally find a pair of low-rise jeans that don't make you look pregnant (Lalipop). Perhaps you'll locate the perfect hat to conceal the bald spot (on your chawbacon bf). Overall, things are looking up. Celebrate with a few sexy friends.

Have you ever looked pregnant? No. I didn't think so. When you're partying w/ your sexy friends lets try to keep it that way.

KMO/Finn: Scorpio

Right now, it's all about the sex. You're not concerned about the long-term aspects of a relationship. All you can focus on is the mind-bending passion. Just remember that your partner could be falling madly in love with you. Oops.

Oops indeed.

Two scoops,

finn