things i'm over: volume 1

things i'm over: teenagers calling me a lady.

i was in starbucks doing what i always do in starbucks - using the bathroom. for the record, nyc has an extreme shortage of public restrooms. sometimes there just isn't anywhere in the vicinity for you to duck into an alley and squat - so you are forced to sneak into starbucks, avoid their coffee, and make a sprint to the bathroom. (there are usually anywhere between 5 and 20 people in line before you, so try to plan accordingly to avoid any disastrous MBO's or pants peeing.) anyways, back to my story. i was waiting in a line of about 8 people - all teenagers. they were all flirting with each other and being normal dumbass 17ish year olds. so then i get to the front of the line and two of the girls are blocking the door to the women's room cackling about some hot dude. so their guy friend yells at them to move because "the lady behind them needs to use the bathroom."

okay. there are a lot of things wrong with that statement.

1. i didnt even have to use the bathroom that bad, and he made it look like i was about to MBO
2. i was only 7 years older than them MAX - therefore i should still be referred to as "girl," "hot chick," or "cougar"
3. LADY! what am i, 100 years old? at what point is it okay to be called that by someone over 5 years old?

i followed it up with a smile and a suprised "am i really a lady? im only 24"

he followed up with an awkward "omg the lady just got mad that i called her a lady" look and then a quick look to the floor, where his eyes stayed for the duration of our encounter.

so i went in the bathroom and shut the door and cried. but really i just peed and then walked out of the bathroom and they were already gone - so i forgot about it and then went along living my anti-lady-life.

love, amo