i never make scenes (shakes head yes)

so last night was my company's christmas party. i know, i know december third thats a little early right? and on a wednesday? what were they thinking.

i will preface this entry with a little back story of who we are as a company: i work in an office full of beligerant alcoholics. we work hard (sometimes), but if any slight opportunity comes up that could possibly be excused as means for celebration - we embrace it. usually with beer and popcorn - pretty tame. we typically have 1-2 of these "celebrations" a week - and they usually start around 4:30. on other occasions where the means for celebrating is a little more noteworthy - we usually just leave the office at lunch and then go straight to happy hour and by 7 o'clock we're 3 sheets to the wind and still going strong.

soooo, now that you are up to date on our office structure - let me get to the real story.

the only thing they tell us about the party is that it is on december third and the "bus is picking us up from the office at 3 pm." thats it. we have no idea where we are going or what we will be doing once we get there. some rumors were floating around that we were gonna be on a boat - so i went ahead and bought some "sea-bands" just incase - i did not want to take any risks in being less than tip-top shape to party. the day up until 3 pm was pretty much a waste because we were all so excited to get slammered. i made sure to eat breakfast and lunch so i could absorb as much alcohol as needed. because we get in trouble if we stop drinking at these events. (at last years party i was drinking a beer and my boss yelled at me for not drinking liquor and called me a wimp)

the bus picks us up at 3. its one of those cute little charter buses that has about 25 seats - one that you usually see around airports. its about an hour and twenty minute busride to the location - not much happened so i won't bore you with details. we pull into the blue hill at stone barn restaurant thats located on the old rockefellar estate. its premise is that they grow and raise all of their food and meat - and then serve it to you that day. delicious. ($11 wasted on sea bands) so we all do a couple ooo's and aaa's at how pretty and serene everything is and its so nice to get out of the city blah blah blah - and then we all run to the bar. we all had a cocktail (dirty martini for me) and loosened up a bit - then moved on to the party room. here they were serving us hors d'oeuvres and wine/champagne. i proceed to break a glass by backing into a table and knocking a martini glass on the floor. awkward silence while everyone looks around trying to see who it was - me yelling "sorry guys, that was me." awkward silence. then we move on.

dinner is amazing. the wine and food are so delicious. the bosses give toasts. a couple others follow up with short toasts. then my boss stands up acting like he is giving another and says "and now for alison's toast." fuck. im bad at this. i stumble my way through it - looking back on it i have no idea what i said. so then i chug some more wine to forget it. mission accomplished.

long story short we continue drinking and getting louder and louder and more and more intoxicated - and before we know it its 10 pm and time to leave. we board the bus. i didnt feel that drunk but i obviously was based on the following portion. i proceed to pass out almost immediatly - god only knows for how long - and i wake up very abruptly realizing that i am about to throw up. i somehow manage to get my coworker to get a bag for me - and i proceed to lose that delicious dinner a couple times. never made it to that bus bathroom. just puked in a bag in front of all of my coworkers. awesome. and then dumped the contents of my purse on the floor. awesome x 2. trainwreck city. population: me.

we get back to the city - about half of the people continue drinking (apparently til 4 am - fuck their ass) and half of us go home. in order to keep myself from making more of a scene - i send myself home at 11 pm.

alright girl, so thats our xmas party in a nutshell. today i got called a lightweight wimp about 400 times, found a cut/bruise on my foot, my shoulder is swollen, and at 730 pm i found gum in my hair (apparently i walked around all day without noticing it.) is that bad?

love, amo