Dear Mom,
we have NOT seen hedonism but there is some hideous shit going on at our resort. look if you are 50+ fat and have saggy boobs you should NOT flaunt them. side note if you have a large dick and balls you should also not flaunt that. orrr your anus for that matter bc i dont want to see it. (this is where dba originated)
we finally had a normal meal tonight. first one yet that hasnt given us diahherea. (now called mbo) is that BAD? anyhow, back to the storie, our waitrese told us to wait befoer we left because her boss wanted to talk to us BUT really he just wanted to speke to our boobies, which we have now named. sally & susie for K, linda & lucy for L. okay???????????
the spa we cfl'ed about bc everything else was so bad we figured that would be bad as well. i have NO idea what the line they use is and i'm sure its some generic shit that is made up. they probably went to the local drug store *if there are any
what were your other questions??????
we DO have goode tans. we look hott. pause. noot.
we leave tomorrow on a flight outta hur at 530 returning to the capital of ravens stadium at 9:20ish. its 4 oclock somewhere. i'm fucking ******* tomorrow night is that bad?? (i'm sure mom immed said "thats nice talk trash mouth")
mom its k again, your daughter L is SOOOOO DRUNK.i swear shes an ALCHOLHOIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps we are sitting in the terrace trashed righting this email right now.
the whether is amazing, liquid sunshine is fucking amazying.
we heart you and ps we got tramp stamps is that bad?
k says WELCOME TO JAMAICA to everyone she sees since its fucking always raining and horrible.
everyone here brakess glasses and shit its so fucking annoying typs....
okay we out mon. dude we were supposed to go to dunns rier falls today with a local (don't freak out we left a death note in the room) no seriously we did. but he freakin' stood us up so you get your daughters back in one piece.
we miss you maxed out and dom't lose this email aiiiight.??? it would be in your deleted items though is that bad?
love you soo much and we'll be home tomorrow night really l8.
sista luv.
aml (al my love)
kisses and hugs to zoe
xoxoxo
miss you
love you
K & ello
is it bad that we tried to misspell words to annoy her and wrote NO punctuation for the same reason?? i still love this email
6 comments:
soooo funny. im terrified to go to Jamaica now. I will write you guys an email.
I CANNOT stop laughing. lovei t.
reading this drunk is way better btw.
what is TTO. i need to know asap.
tto is totally team olson. :)
i remember seeing a picture of a postcard from jamaica that was doused in red wine and addressed to me. then i asked kmo and she told be they did it on purpose cause it was "funny" and made it look like they were soooo drunk when writing it. which they probably were.
i never got that fucking postcard.
fuck jamaicas ass mon
hhahahahahhaha probably b/c we never actually mailed it mon.
and lauren tto is typical team olson not totally :)
i cant even believe L posted this. haha
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