Vball Guest Blogger - HARDCORE

In my absence from the vball game yesterday, hardcore wrote her own blog. she rocks.

1. Door emails me that she's ill and isn't coming, kind of pissed then a little relieved
2. I met Mel to head to the game
3. Mel informs me that champion won't be attending via fb book she's injured from the last game???? WTF we are in the casual division, what did she do? We assume her and DoucheDan are a package deal and he won't be attending either.
4. We get are getting sad bc we can only count 5 people who will be attending which means we will probably forfeit.
5. 45 minutes after walking around in the cold trying to find this f'in gym, going in and asking doormen to point us in the right direction- Mel does the only practical thing and hails a cab. We give the driver the exact address and tell him to immediately drop us off in front of the building
6. We don't even bother changing, I'm still in my sweats assuming that we will forfeit and this trip was worth nothing. We enter the gym: TW! It pops into our head, we forgot about the new guy. Perfect we have 6- then we realize that ZogSports only allows 4 guys on the court bc they are sexist sooo Mel and I will be in the ENTIRE game. Yippee.
7. The guys are getting pretty cocky. Brace Face looks over at the grey team warming up, turns to us and says, "If we loose this game I will kill myself."
8. Game 1- Winning by alot... DoucheDan shows up when it's 13- 4. WHAT!?? Ohhh they must be one of those couples. We WIN!
Game 2- WIN!
Game 3- We loose. Not really trying at this point. After the game TW realizes that the 3rd game actually counts! Idiot. But then while changing, congregating about what we are going to do, he gets a volleyball slammed in his balls. He hits the floor. I laugh...for a long time.
9. On our way out "E" the lady ref that watched our performance of Karaoke says to the Creep that ref-ed our game, "That team is crazzzzy." I smile w/ pride.
10. Mel and I come to the conclusion that we have no idea where we are at since a cab dropped us off and we have no idea how in the hell to get to the subway. The "gentlemen" on our team say they will walk us to to train if we have one drink. I still say, no. We walk out the front door of the gym, and what is starring me in the face... The BAR. In all its glory, the only bar right in that area is right in front of me directly across the high schoool, interesting.
11. DoucheDan bails of course. We enter and immediately notice the bar is only packed with Zoggers. We grab a table in the dining room, order a round of pitchers. Norm.
12. Mel- out of no where, yells "We should challenge the grey team to play flip cup." TW flies up out of his chair and is on a mission. He comes back with 11 cups. (That's the only amount of plastic cups the bar could find to give us.) We put tables together and get it going.
13. Our waiter gets pissed that the dining area has turned into college flip cup tourney and no one is ordering food. We notice 2 guys from the grey team casually slip him a wad of cash. Less then 5 minutes later the waiter comes back with 10 more cups! No we are adding more tables to the tourney. We are so happy they guys even get the waiter to join in on a round. Which then follows up by the waiter brining us a free pitcher of beer. Amazing.
14. E comes over, she wants to play! Who's team does she want to be on? ORANGE, obvi. Then she reveals that she already gave us the Spirit Award! :) And she also wants her shirt cut up like ours and she wants Mel to do it for her.
15. Mel and her opponent are awfully flirty at the end of the table. They even go by the fireplace to start off the round. Then she sees a sign at the bar, "Karaoke Every Friday Night." I think she's going back tonight.
16. We decide after this round, game over and time to go home. It's tie! What do we do? We each thumb wrestle someone from the other team, that's a first.
17. Trying to wrap things up, getting on our coats.. Mel decides it would be a good idea to start flirting with the ref we had to gain advantage for the future. He's very into the idea. He said he is always the ref at this location, great. Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of him. He then tells us, not sure why... that he's going to switch the schedule around so he can ref us next week. Sweet??? And its a 7:15 game we tell him, I thought he was going to burst into tears. He cries out like a pussy, "ooh no you guys probably won't still be here drinking by the time I'm done reffing all the other games." Mel tries to calm him down and informs him that you never know with our team and that we stayed at WateringHole for 5 hours before. He gets it together. Can't wait to see him Tuesday!
18. Brace Face secretly goes over and picks up the entire flip cup tab. We yelled at him but also love him at the same time.
19. Get ready Ladies. Game on.

"ever since i knew her counter top"

if you grew up in the olson family i believe this picture will look very familiar to you.



I would like to discuss it further. the pees in the opened can, 4 candles burning in a circle, any vitamins/medicines you can think of, equal packets (some probably left open), a random christmas decoration, the most expensive olive oil you could find, a bunch of random soups that were probably just featured on the today show, different kinds of nuts with no salt on them bc thats the new fad diet of the week. any comments about this?

every since i knew ronnie he told me that she was the only person who could go to sleep with everything still out from the night before. things obviously haven't changed.
M1

PRESIDENT OBAMA

OBAMA'S MOMENT ARRIVES

so as you all know, I attended the presidential inauguration this past week. it was quite the unreal experience. really... it was disappointing that not that many people showed up for barack (shakes head no, see above). i especially like the people in that picture with the neon green hats. i kept imagining if team olson had gone, we would've done something like this. there were also so many places to sit that some people got a little unconventional (see left).

I can totally see m1 sitting up there on that sightseeing stand, let me tell you. everyone was really happy and friendly there though, it was pretty amazing. even when you were annoyed someone was bumping you to get by, no one was rude or got mad. positive energy. :) and I also heard there was not 1 arrest in the city that day. i'm not sure if that's true, but if so, that is seriously awesome. i didn't see one protestor all day. unlike 4 years ago when I attended Bush's parade (not as a fan so much though) and got hit in the crosswind of some pepper spray directed at the protestors. that was really fun.

this post will be sprinkled with pictures to demonstrate my experience and the many varying styles of inauguration wear... and there were many let me tell you. my style was really just freezing my ass off and getting pissed off at at&t that their service on the iphone jammed up first and all day.
First of all, this (to the left) is what the washington monument looked like at 5:30am. This is basically why I was so cold. I was outside for about 12 hours straight at about 10 degrees. AWESOME. I totally wore enough clothes and the right type of gloves (shakes head no).

This girl on the right really went all out and I imagined this is sort of the level of enthusiasm team olson would've taken to this type of event. (or at least i hoped) She was maxxing out pretty hard. I loved their signs though.

Some people hipstered out all the presidential flair. You can see the hat below shows a creative and cool side to supporting our nation's leader.



Others blinged the shit out of their decor. This for some reason makes me think a little bit about the story Packy told at La Paz. Anyone else?? I couldn't quite get a pic of her fingernails but I'd imagine they could produce some bloody legs. itb?


Next up, we have another fellow who decided just to wear a flag as a hat. You can also see to the left of him where another "team" chose to sport identical hats. Obviously looking awesome while doing it.

This next one isn't so much a 'style' as a mindset. They brought their science fair project to the festivities. No, I'm serious, this is like in 10-point Times New Roman font. Who in the sam hill is going to be able to read that? (also, who says who in the sam hill other than m2? ohwell) But, fya "yes we can". i support it. our next team o get together will obvi be byosfp (bring your own science fair project). this brings me back to the cafeteria of yellow springs elementary school showing off how your parents basically wasted 5 hours of their time laundrying socks with varying detergents and stains on them to do the ultimate test of WHICH DETERGENT WORKS BEST. at least that's how it worked in my family. cfl.

Moving on...
these two I was really confused by on the right. They seemed to be trying to nap during all of this minor chaos of a crowd of roughly 2 million peeps. i don't know how they made it out alive but I did look over 45 seconds later and they were standing up again. so much for putting your foot down.

which brings me to another point of how easy it was to navigate through these crowds. i thought this picture was funny to the right. try taking that walk sign literally. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. it was insane. i didnt pee the entire day because getting to the porta potties would have been a ticket out of the game. which reminds me.... when I did (about 8.5 hours later) emerge on a porta potty once Kim and I walked to a metro stop in SE waited an hour having anxiety attacks and never getting down the escalators, and then deciding to walk home to Virginia... we found a million porta pottys at our disposal.

all i'll say is the one i went in was just about full. Gross. i really should've taken this woman's strategy too and byotp...










Okay, more styles. This one I thought was interesting. Teenage hipster celebrating change

Archie Fosdick style. and i'm okay with that.











Let's see, what else did I see? One thing you may not have realized is that people were there to "rage". See previous team olson blog for definition of rage.
Okay, moving on. Not sure why my font is now underlined. Anyhow... you may be wondering what all the kids did while they were there. I understand the history of this event and how amazing it will be to tell my kids and grandkids that I was there, but I guess I'm not sure about bringing a baby. I mean really there were millions of people around and it was effing freezing. But, kids a little older, I can see that. Makes sense. The one kid in front of me repeatedly looked at her dad crying (she was probably 8) and said "Daddy I can't feel anything" to which he ignored many times. I felt bad for her but really more bad for myself. it was soooo cold. my thighs didn't thaw for like 3 days.
The other kids, well, they did what normal American kids do at momentous, unbelievable, once in a lifetime events... they play Ninentendo DS. of course.

Only two more and then I'm done.

First of all I just want to say I got a great idea for a new concept for team olson vacay/everyday gear. why didn't we think of this before I wonder?? CAPES!!!

Don't worry I asked her how she knew I was going to be there (which would obviously be why she wore a Team O cape in the first place) and she said she reads the blog daily. two thumbs up guys. keep up the good work.

Last but not least, I want to just show you what AMO would've been wearing had she been able to attend. This was purely and simply amazing. I do also expect a blog shortly about AMO in chinatown buying all of us team o members these glasses out of a sketchy van. bring nm1 if you want, she loves chinatown.

oh by the way i think the spacing on this post makes it look like i've never used a computer before, but really its just a pain. amo fix it if you want :)

xoxooxox
yes we can.
kmo

Atleast we will win the best drinker's title....

Helllloooooooooooooooo, its vball story time! We have guest stars this week! Goebs and MH! Yes thats right, our own MH accompanied me to vball - took some pictures - and helped out in the general trainwreck activities resulting in me getting too drunk. typs.

This week starts off a little different. We start AT the bar because our game is not until 9:30 so obviously the best thing we can be doing is drinking a shitload of cheap beer in pitcher form. I mean, we DO have a title to try to win - "Best Drinking Team" - and we are determined to get it, whatever the cost to our livers/vball skills. We got to the bar around 8, drank 4 pitchers, and were well on our way to blowing off our game to just keep on drinking. But of course Captain, being the saint to volleyball she is, made us all stop - get the check - and run to the high school because we were mega-late and gonna miss practice time.

We show up, tipsy, and the boys are eating it up. I must have heard Zsportsdude3000 tell me atleast 5 times how we should all always drink before the games because we are so awesome and entertaining. So anyway, we show up and guess who is there? THE MISSING 12TH TEAM MEMBER. Its week 3 and if he didnt show up for this weeks game we were gonna kick him off the team and replace him with goebs for his lack of team spirit. I have an idea what his nickname should be but I am gonna wait til later to tell you because the story of him gets a lot more interesting - and i dont want to go spoiling any surprises. So we have all 12 team mates - 6 drunk/6 sober. Xtine's american apparel ad for volleyball above conveys our half of the team's state of mind pretty clearly.

I actually do not have much to say about the games - besides the fact that we stuck with what we are good at and won one game, lost the other two. And the fact that Zsportsdude3000's sweatpants didn't have elastic this week. They were still light grey though. I wonder how many pairs of light grey sweatpants he owns?

I think the video below will give you a hint of just HOW extremely casual we are as a vball team and sum up the games better then any words i could write. (sorry its sideways - i couldn't figure out how to rotate the FSAD video)



Yep. Thats how i serve. Notice how we still won a point off it. BTW - for those who are wondering - i was NOT aware that I was being video taped - that is actually just what my victory dance looks like. hot, right?

So the games end at 10:30 (Hardcore won the title of MVP for the night) - and while normal (aka BORING) teams feel this is "too late" to go to happy hour - we decide its the perfect opportunity to return to the happy hour we had been attending before. I mean, as we know from last week - at this point karaoke should be starting, and no one wants to miss out on a good karaoke night.



















We run to the bar to find full on karaoke already being carried out by the purple team! We hold a team meeting for what we could possibly do to make sure we still win the show tonight. Hardcore has the brilliant idea of patron shots for all. Brace Face is so into that idea (or is he just into hardcore?) that he buys us ALL shots. Maybe he sold a good hedge fund that day or something.

I realize that I haven't talked to MH in about 45 seconds an I want to see what the fuck she has gotten into so I realize she is behind me talking to the new guy.

MH - " So I saw you were wearing towson shorts, we grew up in maryland"

TW - "Yeah I went to Towson, where did you grow up?"

MH - "Frederick"



















TW - "Shut up, I graduated from Frederick High 2002"

We figured out that he knows a lot of the same people we did. So I threw the question out there - "Who was your Dentist?"

TW - "Ah, I dont remember his name, but it was right off route 40 - near the cheap movie theater"

Yupp. It was 2D.

Small world, right? So I whip out my bookface and show him 132178 pictures of team olson. just incase you were wondering, he has not met any of us.

So at this point Door sees us talking to the new guy and decides to swoop in on her prey and attack him with flirts. I think her line of the night to him was "I used to be a cheerleader, so this volleyball stuff just really isn't my thing."

Okay door, last week you were a lesbian, this week you are a ditzy cheerleader? I guess the two can go hand in hand pretty nicely.

Oh but no! I almost forgot Door's other one liner of the night. It was in a conversation with her other lover Beanpole.

Door - "I really only like .05% of people"

(okay door - way to be melodramatic and emo - are you trying to be hipster?)



















Beanpole - "Oh yeah me too, but I know you like me. ;)"

(I figured that he would have used that emoticon if he could have)

I guess the award goes to beanpole for that one.

So, of course as the night goes on, we sing lots of karaoke. I even sang with a group of 40 year old lesbots celebrating their birthdays. Its like I think I have a good voice or something. I always rush the stage and take over everyone's performance. I'm kinda suprised I don't get punched in the face more often actually.

MH and I also met some crazy coked out manager that she was trying to get a job from as he told her she should be working at a thousand other places besides his. He also told us that his employees can't drink at his bar, because it would obviously lead to everyone doing blow off the bartop at 5am. Alllllllllright.

At 12:30 we decide to leave, because we had obviously won most spirited/best drinkers of the night.

Ah, volleyball. Things just keep getting better.

yes we can

"For the world has changed, and we must change with it"

what an awesome day...wish we were all there with you kmo!

xoxo.

we love you pacman :)

get well wishes

Packy we love you and are praying for you.

-team o. :)

bumpin like a g thang (babay)

Happy Friday! Last night was our first official volleyball game (last week was a scrimmage for those of you who don't remember). I guess I will just start from the beginning without giving any precursor. well i guess i will give you one precursor: the happy hour portion of this story will far exceed the actual game portion. i suspect that this will become a running theme as the weeks progress. Ok, so here it goes.....

The game was scheduled at 6:30 pm in the same high school as last week. I left work around 5:57 pm and met hardcore, captain and mel (she is new and we we still need a nickname for her) and went over to the school early so we could "get ready." now, most of you probably perceive "getting ready" as involving changing into your gym attire, double tying your shoes to make sure you dont trip, and throwing your hair into a sloppy ponytail that you could cfl about. well, i guess i can say we tend to do things a little different. hardcore brought fabric scissors so we could cut up our shirts and make them more flattering(?), xtine comes running in flailing around like a maniac cause shes late, we have annialated the bathroom so it no longer represents a high school shit hole bathroom but is now some sort of circus changing room, full faces are being applied (obvi), and just general chaos all around. you know the drill. i forgot to mention that this entire time a new teammate of ours that we havent met (besides the obvious stalking on facebook because her profile isn't private) has joined us in the bathroom. we have nicknamed her "champion." i'll get to that later. but im pretty sure the sight of us made her want to run back to the warmth of her hippie bedroom never to emerge again. i guess we are that scary.

so, we head up to the gym and start practicing. beanpole and zsportsdude3000 are already up there - awkwarding out and waiting for us to entertain them. warm-ups go a lot smoother last week besides the fact that champion and her boyfriend douchey are being fucktards and wanting to control the entire situation. ummm excuse me, but we have a rule that if you dont show up to the scrimmage you dont get to pretend like you run the game. i guess they didnt get the memo. 

by the end of warm-ups my arms are already hot red in color because i actually have NO idea how to play volleyball so i just run around like a chicken with its head cut off and my arms held together and my fists balled up until i hit it. usually works out great (shakes head no).

the first game starts. im already a hater of the other team because they have 2 guys on the team that think they are the shit. we named them spider monkey and smirkey. spider monkey cause this dude would get all up in the net and make weird constipated faces at you so you couldnt focus on anything besides getting him an ex-lax, and smirkey cause he constantly had this terrible grin on his face that i wanted to kick in. im not hostile or anything.

we lose the first game 15-4. spider monkey has hit captain in the head with the ball, smirkey is trying to cheat (im sure of it) and the girls on their team are nowhere near as fun or attractive as us. not like we were comparing or anything...

second game: door shows up. mother f'er. she is going on and on about how she just went to the david letterman show and it was so fun and blah blah blah i wasnt listening. im more thinking in my head "dont call her door to her face, dont call her door to her face, dont call her door to her face." also at the same time hardcore is staring at her with a glare that could burn through elephant skin. so basically i ignored everything she said and told her i couldnt listen because i was too focused on the game. fuck your ass.

we lost the second game 18-16. we were doing so good until door stood there like a mother f'ing boulder and didnt try to hit anything. but atleast we went into overtime! third game was a rally game because they had to go  fast so the next teams could play. but we ended up winning!!! zsportsdude3000 was totally the MVP of the night spiking and bumping those balls like it was his job. we found out on facebook that he is recently single, so we can only speculate that he broke up with his gf for one of us and was trying to show off his skillz.

at this point its 730 pm, and we get all bundled up and forge through the cold to happy hour. champion and douchey didnt come because they are "sick." sure. whatever. fuck your ass. we get a table again and just start ordering pitcher after pitcher after pitcher. we are slowly turning the boys into assholes who throw other people under the bus just like us. (pictured to the left is beanpole and xtine having a very important conversation)

about half an hour into drink-a-thon 2009, us girls start to notice something hilarous going on. door is flirting with beanpole and zsportsdude3000 at the same time. she is mastering the art of the awkward flirt, and im pretty sure she doesnt realize that we are all sitting around the table laughing so hard at it. or maybe she does? care less. here is an excerpt from their conversation:

beanpole: "i like bisexual women. girls on girls is hot as long as im involved"

***awkward pause where xtine chugs a bottle of ketchup with a mouthful of french fries so she doesnt have to react to this***

door: "my mom once asked me if i was, like, a lesbian or something because, like, she thought i was. it was so funny"

***door bats her eyelashes while beanpole tries not to CoC***

we also found out that beanpole invited door to a party last weekend but she didnt go. ummmm.

hilarious. he invited her on facebook and i guess she didnt see it til after the party was over. so i guess my suspicions last week were right: beanpole WAS hitting on door.

gag me. thankfully we get word that karaoke is starting in 20 minutes so they give us the song books to occupy our time. we pick a couple songs such as: summer of 69 and i kissed a girl (a tribute to door). zsportsdude3000 wants to get in on the action, cause he is SINGLE. he says he wants to sing a rap song. as you see in these pictures, he is a skinny white dude with elastic bands around the ankles of his light grey sweatpants. not exactly the next eminem in my book. but okay, sure, whatever. care less. he chooses "nothin but a g thang." god, i cant wait for this.

so in between all of the people trying out for american idol and video taping themselves with side ponytails held up by banana clips - we sing (shout?) these songs. im pretty sure i peed myself as zsportsdude3000 "rapped" to this dr. dre song. meanwhile the rest of the bar has cleared out because we are so bad at singing and fat girls in red peacoats are arriving in taxis to this like its a red carpet gala.

4 and a half hours and a $200 bar tab later, we decide its time to go home.

i will leave you with a picture of xtine being a drunk idiot in her pink shoes on the train ride home. 

next week our game is at 9:30, so we are getting drunk beforehand. should get interesting.......

fya,
amo

teamo word of the day: rage

This past weekend/week I spent down in Southern Florida. Now if you know anything about Florida you know its the most eclectic group of people anywhere.
It was Friday night and we were leaving very early Saturday morning but really wanted to meet up with some friends. We head into Ft. Lauderdale and its about 10 o'clock when we arrive. We are looking at each other trying laughing trying to decide if we are really goign to go out or not because we are exhausted from spending the day in South Beach. Anyway we somehow find the energy to head into this bar to meet B's friends. Let's just say we thought we were going to a bar that had a rock band (which I would love) and then B realizes we are going to a concert. After he spends $50 getting us in, we walk through the door and I am immediately high as shit from the smell of marijuana. I'm people watching as hard as possible, probably with an ugly look on my face. (kmo don't comment). the bouncer is yelling at some 17 year old girl who clearly has a fake id and wants to get in. he tells her no go around the corner and ask the police and she proceeds to try and pay him off. suuuree.
anyway so we get a drink. drink of choice for me is vodka sprite to deal with whats going on in this place. there we are greeted by b's friend and gf. within 5 minutes of me talking to this girl i'm immediately in love with her and she is telling me how f'ed up her relationship is after 5 years. her bf, colt has disappeared into the crowd and she hangs with us for the rest of the night. he comes back regularly pulling out his bottle of vodka that he has put in his coat pocket and chugs her drink. classy guy you might say. anyway so after being a groupy for about 2 hours we decide to go to the outside bar because i'm getting bronchitis sitting there and i'm not really sure what the hell we are doing in this groupy, free love, infested place anyway. at this point colt comes over and tells b he's going outside to "rage". b looks over at colts gf and asks her what one would mean if they were going outside to rage? she explains that its some term he's recently been saying that he picked up at bonarro. if you know what bonarro is then you'll understand = free love for 3 days = woodstock. she also doesn't know what the definition is at this point.

colts gf then gets up and goes downstairs while we proceed to laugh our asses off at whats going on. and when she comes back i ask her if he does drugs. her response is "no he just smokes pot and does shrooms' but he doesn't do drugs." okay i guess shrooms are no longer considered a drug, even if they are a psychedelic mushroom. she then tells us that "raging" is doing nitrous. i am immediately asking a thousand questions...did you know he did this? don't you consider that a drug? doesn't it kill brain cells instantly? She fills us in that he had his hips replaced about 8 months ago (he's 29) and now he acts 21. one of the girls in the group he hangs out with is 17 and they all act about that age.

we play therapist for the next few hours recommending she buy the book "the success principles", etc etc....

at this point i'm so tired and so we break the news to her that we want to leave. its 3 am and we have to get up at 5:45 to head home. we ask her to come with us so she can find her boyfriend who is in the CAR "raging".

so as we walk through the parking lot i think we are looking for her car but i quickly realize we AREN'T. HERES WHAT WE ARE LOOKING AT....


i kid you not. there were about 20 to 25 people walking/dancing around with blue balloons. you would have thought this was a children's birthday party going on and the best part it was in the PARKING LOT. where the heck were the parking attendants? i also see a huge nitrous tank behind a car. intersting..guess thats legal now?!?!

and then we see this....

this is her boyfriend. he is carrying around his freakin' white boombox, that she claims he takes everywhere with him and just sets up a party when he feels like it.

we are quickly asked if we want to buy a balloon, $5 they say. I ask if thats for a hit? and they reply for the entire balloon. some girl is walking around yelling how she bought a balloon for the next night as well. okie dokie

that conversation is quickly interrupted by the fact that there is a hipster/kid/boy/man not sure what falling face first into the fence next to me and then passing out on his face. and then to the right of me another hipster/boy/kid/man passes out, falling flat on his back. but don't worry the 17 year old girl who is so insanely f'ed up is dancing on top of them, as though they are wide awake. i then realize she's the one trying to pay to get in the bar earlier underage.

at that point my mother urge kicks in and yes i'm laughing so hard i'm basically pissing myself but i'm also getting nervous.

we decide its time to leave this rage party and head back to reality.

i love florida and want to move there.
m1

the guaranteed orgasm.

just incase you missed fridays oprah. i'll max this one out until you guys come home and we can sit awkwardly watching it. loves it.


for the beginners you should start with this... Laura says its a guaranteed "orgasm". no more faking it ladies....lol.



Aphrodite

Great for beginners, this easy-to-use infrared rechargeable massager is used for external stimulation, with attachments that provide a range of sensations. Use with a water- or oil-based (not silicone-based) lubricant. Rechargeable batteries are included.

Use it to…
Stimulate the vulva, clitoris, and entrance to the vagina
Provide warm stimulation all over the body
Stimulate yourself, or add spice to an encounter with a partner

day 1: kmo withdrawal

hi kmo,

its day one on your new job site, and i already FSAD miss you so much. i didnt even have to work today but every time i logged online there was this void in my chatter box. i kept myself busy with laundry/errands/mario galaxy so that i wouldnt lay in bed and cry all day.

i've been thinking about what the fuck you did all day while you weren't pressing the woo button on your iphone or putting up new statuses in gchat. here are my guesses:

1. writing things down on paper that you would have typed in the chatter (i can only assume that you have seperate pieces of paper for all of your conversations so that you won't get confused on who you told things to)
2. drawing emoticons on paper and flipping it 90 degrees to animate them
3. writing statuses on pieces of paper and taping them to your shirt
4. printing out a color picture of an iphone and working on your typing speed
5. having imaginary conversations with m1 on your print out of the iphone
6. putting a big "x" on day 1 in your "fuck this job assignment" calendar assume you have made
7. maybe doing some actual work now that you dont have things to distract you

i miss you!! 179(ish) more days and counting!

love,

amo

the best thing since the polaroid camera

we are definitely going to need one of these for team olson beach vacay 2009.

love, amo. 

The Polaroid PoGo™ Instant Digital Camera is the first digital camera and printer combination that is small enough to take on-the-go. The digital version of Polaroid's iconic instant camera, the Polaroid PoGo™ Instant Digital Camera is a full-feature digital camera with an integrated printer.

Camera Features:
* 3.0" bright color LCD for viewing images
* SD compatible for expanded memory
* Rechargeable lithium-ion battery

Integrated Printer Features:
* Snap, print, share – no computer connections needed
* 2x3" full-color, sticky-back prints
* Smudge-proof, water-resistant, tear-resistant photos
* No Ink. No Hassles.™ - no ink cartridges or ribbons to throw away
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amo-mom

just as i am turning more and more into m4 every year, i swear my mom is getting quirkier every year and im loving it. i talked to her on the phone this morning and told her that i switched to at&t and she said "ME TOO!!" so i asked her why. apparently its so they can use the international plan the 6 days of every year that they are outside of the country. oooooooooooookay. normal. so then i ask her what phone she got. she says "oh just another piece of shit LG, i nicknamed it POS-3"

hahaha f-in' brilliant, im thinking about inducting her into team olson.

xoxo,
amo

amo vball: volume 1

todays story is about the intramural volleyball league i joined. our first scrimmage was last night, i joined with 4 of my girl friends (i will name them Xtine, Hardcore, Captain, and Door) and then we got placed with 7 other randoms. and i really mean randoms. i will get to this later.

our scrimmage doesnt start til 8:30 so the 5 of us decide to go out to dinner beforehand to come up with brilliant ideas. and of course we do. by the end of dinner we have changed our name from zsvbten to "we're bumpin'," (we noticed all of the other teams somehow created a sexual innuendo with a volleyball term so we followed suit), we had also decided that we are going to invest in shorts and tube socks from american apparel (oh, how hipster of us!), and tearaway pants or some sort of warm-up suit, have part of a playlist put together for "warm-ups" and are well our the way in coming up with a dance routine.

so we walk over to the highschool our league is held at - the gym is on the 10th floor. wtf. with the slowest elevator ever. we arrive at the 10th floor and quickly realize we are the only 5 from our team that have shown up. we go to the bathroom and change into our clothes and apply our full faces (this was my idea you would be so proud of me m1!!!)

to set you up with who Xtine is: she is wearing pink tennis shoes because thats the only pair she owns and she has had them since 9th grade when she was in her pink phase, a rolling stones tongue tshirt hung off one shoulder, and black stretch pants. i am of course wearing my team olson gsf tank (represent!), and captain and hardcore are wearing knee pads that they asked for for xmas. guess i should have thought of that. pause naht.

we start warming up - its pretty apparent that none have us have touched a vball in atleast 10 years. Xtine says she is going to practice "digging" and immediately face plants so hard on the floor. seriously. it was fucking hilarious. i literally peed myself a little. we are such trainwrecks laughing so hard that we can't even warm up. At one point i take a glimpse over at the other teams warm-up routine - they are standing in a neat circle volleying the ball to eachother with straight faces. then i look back at us. 2 of us are on the floor and the rest of us are awkwardly hitting the ball so hard it hits the ceiling. then i look at the ref. he is laughing so hard at us. i think to myself - 'this is gonna be an interesting 10 weeks.'

This scrimmage is supposed to tell what category we are supposed to be placed in. Before we started the ref has already told us that he is placing us in the "extremely casual" league. I guess thats appropriate.

so .0078647386 seconds before the first game is supposed to start one of our randoms shows up. i will call him beanpole because he was about 8' 7" tall and weighed no more then 115 pounds. so beanpole is genuinely awkwarding out about whats going on and just stands there in awe of the 5 of us for the first game like he has never seen a female act like this before. or maybe never actually been this close to 5 females at the same time. probably both.

the first game starts. 15 points later its over. we lost 15-0 in about 3 minutes flat. during which time Hardcore gets "angry" about something and throws the ball nearly ripping my face off of my face.

2 more teammates show up: Braceface and Zsportsdude3000. Braceface is an obvious nickname because he has braces. Zsportsdude3000 is more of a stretch. he admits that the reason he was late is because he was at his dodge-ball game with the same organization. wtf. 2 teams in one season?? he even took a cab to come meet us so he could be on time. guess that didn't work out as planned. (maybe he didnt understand that our first game would only last 3 minutes).

so once we got some more people on the team and warmed up we got progressively better. not to say we were "good" or anything. second game 15-7 and 3rd game 15-13. During the second game "Door" goes up to serve, turns to Captain and asks her how she is supposed to do it. She is doing these hand motions like she has never seen, heard of, or touched a volleyball. Then she goes to serve it and the ball literally just rolled out of her hand. The ref fell off his stool laughing so hard, and says that if this were a regular game night he would buy our whole team a round of shots for making him laugh so hard. SCORE. this is gonna be easy.

so the rest of the game was still fucking hilarious but im pretty sure i have highlighted all of the good parts.

now, i will move onto the happy hour.
we get to the bar, sit down at the table, and order some pitchers. IMMEDIATLEY brace face is saying "SO HAVE YOU ALL KNOWN EACHOTHER FOREVER, DO YOU WORK TOGETHER, DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER, WHAT FIELD DO YOU WORK IN?!?!?!?!!"

TIU buddy. one question at a time.

apparently they have already had a conversation and decided that we are not school teachers or librarians. good job boys.

so all of them are trying to "impress" us in different ways. Braceface tells us he is in finance, ZSportsdude3000 has just returned from a trip to europe, and beanpole lives in the east village. This is about as far as they got with semi-impressive comments until they took a terribly wrong turn. Within 5 minutes braceface is defending tom cruise being a normal human being, ZSportsdude3000 is admitting that he watches desperate housewives alone, and beanpole...well i dont really know what beanpole was doing. i think he was hitting on door.

so before we can get too out of hand and blow these sweet boys out of the water, we decide to go home. this is not before they have all told us atleast 3 times how WE ARE THE MOST FUN TEAMMATES EVER.

i bet they think they hit the jackpot on this one. i cant wait to meet the teammates that didn't show up. (shakes head no).

until next time,
amo

Fredneck

Below is an article i found interesting. I have hi-lighted the part of the article that interests me most. I find this disgusting. It makes the town in which i was born and raised sound like its in West Virginia near the Kentucky border. I have zero tolerance for this. I think drunk driving is better for society. I dont know whether or not to be upset at the FNP writer for not changing his quote or happy that she exposed the plague in Frederick of uneducated people. I feel more and more like I live in hagerstown. BTW, did elaine bennes ever make an appearance at Baracudas on the dual highway? Adam Jones got in two fights there when he was like 16. Anyway back to my point. I hate it when I tell people i live in Frederick and they say oh Fredneck. Im like "im not a redneck." I have never hunted a day in my life, as a matter of fact i hate guns. I dont listen to country music. I dont have any tattoos. I've never chewed tabacco or dipped. I hate Nascar. And i think the food at Applebees is terrible. Im not a fucking redneck. But its people like this that make me and my hometown look like a bunch of backwoods trash. I think ive had enough of it. Maybe ill have to move "down the road" as Frednecks say. This line always made me laugh. From my understanding "down the road" means south on 270. Why is going East on 70 not down the road? If 270 continued further north past Frederick would that be considered up the road? IDK.

On a side note,

what a handsome crook that is pictured below. Is that one of the men that KGree and M1 were talking about at Lapaz that they have overlapped their numbers on? He looks like Glass Joe from Mike Tysons Punch Out for Nintendo.

Please respond with any thoughts?

Respectfully Yours,

Packy

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/news/display.htm?storyID=84919

dear team olson, its me, packy

i love to call pictures pitchers like rednecks do. have you ever noticed that?

on myspace it shows when people post new pics and i saw a few from yours.

i have a couple comments.

isnt that classy of me to have my hood up in a picture or how about me sitting down while everyone else stands. what about that rudolph the red mother fucking face i had? i can explain some of these things. they have to do with my current health, for some reason my skin is extremely dry and my face a neck tend to get really fucking red even when i dont drink. so red that people like to say wow did you ever get a sun burn. where you skiing this weekend? i reply, " as a matter of fact i was, right up there at wisp. " even though i havent been skiing since i was like 13. the reason for the hood is that i get extremely cold especially when i drink cold beverages like the red sang. i was slurping down at a high rate that night. what i cannot explain is why i decided it would be best if i remained seated while everyone else stands. or in the other picture why my head is turned as if to say " i dont want to be in that photo" this was not the case.

i also like the comment about the 80 beers. he might not after 80 beers but possibly after about 3/4 of a bottle of gin. the difference is that in order to drink 80 beers one would have to drink at an extremeley slow pace. i believe that blood alc. content would be much higher after the 100 proof gin. during that evening of that horrific story i told, my drink of choice was gin and i had plenty of it. the good thing though is that as i stated at lapaz, i never had intercourse with lil kim.


one other comment i would like to make is that on the cupid shuffle picture i see that team olson is outfitted in grey tops with black bottoms. i for one did not receive a text message notifying me of the uniform for the night.


big gulps huh fellas.

welp. see you later

PB

btw happy fucking new year

from kmo and amo 17 years ago. nice pjs (shakes head no)

m1 is on the bus but you cant see her!!!

m1 is so skinny you cant even see her on a bike! good luck walking into spin class and finding her....