we put the fun in dysFUNction

Some would say that 2007 was an abnormal year for the Olson's, I however think its just become a normal to accept the things that go on in my family. I'll post my last years Christmas letter and then in the next few days will update the things that have happened in 2008. Not sure which one would win the award.

***names have been changed in the story to protect the innocent. or wait are they innocent?

This year was a difficult year in the Olson family. It started in the beginning of 2007 when my father’s retina tore hours before he left for vacation. He had to stare at the ground for 2 weeks straight 22 out of 24 hours a day. He then re-tore his retina a second time several months later and is slowly recovering. About 3 months later we lost our family dog, Addie. She developed lung cancer and had to be put down in May. Finally we were off to Bermuda to spend 5 days in the sun and Mom wanted to sleep a lot of the time. The day we returned from paradise my Mother had a upper endoscopy and the liquid from the breathing tube went into her lung caused her to aspirate and have pneumonia for the rest of the month. Needless to say she was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and has recovered very well. I worked for her and myself for that entire month. About a month after that I got the love of my life Zoe and she has been such a lifesaver to me. Zoe is now 7 months old and only weighs 4 lbs. ($300/lb.) Then comes the end of August beginning of September when my Grandfather becomes terribly ill. He goes into the hospital several times and then has double pneumonia in both of his lungs. The prognosis gets worse and worse and they put him on a respirator him for several days. While in the hospital my entire family has world war III in the middle of the waiting room one night and all hell starts to break loose. It wasn’t that much longer until we lost my Grandfather. Some people say it was on October 21st, well other Christmas card letters say so I’ll have to check with my Grandmother about that one. The funeral was about 5 days later and the priest is brand new and all the information is being read wrong. Did you know we were from Costa Rica?? and my Grandmother’s name is now Mary?? Similar to my Aunt changing her birthday. Oh I’m getting side tracked. kmo had a lovely year she finished her 3rd semester of her master’s program and got an A– in one of her classes. I know such a shame isn’t it. OH I forgot to add that in June my sister and her boyfriend Max broke up after 6 beautiful years. Its now beginning of November and I’m thinking things might calm down. I’m driving with someone I’m dating Victor is his name and oh yeah he completely screwed me over for his ex girlfriend. I now have the nickname “weekend girl”. And my cousin calls me and says he needs to admit some things to me. Peter decides to come clear that he is an Oxycontin user/ heroin whichever one he can’t get quicker and has stolen all kinds of things to be pawned. If you shopped at the pawn shop this year it might be some of our family things so can you bring them back to us? Thanks! Anyway I check him in to the hospital only for them to say there isn’t anything they can do. We have lunch several days later and he tells us that his brother Paul is also an oxy user and sells it for $50 profit a pill. Can you imagine that money? My cousin Martha is addicted to cocaine and both Peter and Paul’s girlfriends are also users. Did I mention my aunt married my best friends father after 6 months? That took place in August. Peter is fully recovered now and working on 45 days recovery and Paul is going into the Air Force. My Grandmother turned 82 in November and my aunt and uncle got into an argument while dinner was supposed to be served. The fighting escalated into such an argument between Jennifer, Vince and Lucy that my Grandmother punched all of them. Then after she punched them she stormed up to the farm in her car and swerved to miss a tree. (she intentionally tried to hit the tree we were told) My uncle pushed my Aunt on the ground and somehow managed to try and get away with it. That changes daily though. I’ll keep you posted. And, then my Dad’s girlfriend’s (10 year girlfriends) daughter had a baby in July. She and her baby daddy are now splitting up and so she and her baby are moving in with Dad and Samantha. My father will be 60 in September and living with a 6 month old baby. I think I’m caught up to present and I’m still single, have no money, and spend money like I do. My job is going well and I will continue to work for the magazine for a long time. Hope everyone has a wonderful year. Cheers to 2008….

stay tuned for 2008....
xoxo m1