Krisal Trelis Sontin

When KMO and I were in middle school we were obsessed with learning the lyrics to our favorite songs. We would make a mix tape of top 40 hits off Z104 and then proceed to listen to them over and over, attempting to decipher the lyrics into a spiral notebook (we would take turns being the writer so we could both practice our handwriting). Yes, these were the good ol’ days before the internet when you had to sit outside on the deck listening to the radio your boombox. Artists that I distinctly remember decoding were Blackstreet, Puff Daddy, and Ma$e (yeah, we were ghetto, cfl).

But, being team olson, we obviously couldn’t stop at that. We had to maxx it out as hard as possible. In the times where we had already deciphered the lyrics of all ten songs being played on the radio that week, we could make our own remixes. Girltalk style. (Im pretty sure that girltalk would cite us as his muse if asked in an interview. )

Our “girltalk style” involved recording ourselves (on my talkboy) singing lines to a song while the song was playing so we could have the music in the background and then interjecting funny quotes from movies. I think. I can’t exactly remember our majestic concoction of song to movie quotes, or how much we would change about the song. I do know that these songs we would “write” were anywhere between 25 and 60 seconds long. But I do remember one of the mixes that will be engraved in my memory forever:

Sophie B Hawkins playing (with AMO&KMO singing over it): On a February morning in the courtyard birds were singing your praiseeeeeee
KMO (in the old man voice from ace ventura pet detective): WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT RAAAYYYYYYY FINKLE?
AMO & KMO (giggling uncontrollably and trying to sing): As I lay me down to sleep, this I pray, that you will hold me dear
AMO (making something up that makes no sense and still laughing): nothing, why do you?
Sophie B Hawkins continues playing for about 10 seconds while we laugh so hard..then the recording ends really awkwardly in the middle of a word

As you already know, the above excerpt does not give any sort of justice to the original masterpiece. I have a voice that you could only describe as angelic and kmo has the powerful ability to sound exactly like that old man from ace ventura. After recording the ‘final’ version of all of these songs onto one tape, we decided that it needed a name. What better then to combine our names to make a new one. After all, we were mixing media, voices, and songs. It made perfect sense. Krisal Trelis Sontin it was. We wrote it in sharpie on that little white strip on the tape cassette. A masterpiece was born.

Kmo, I hope that you still have this tape somewhere in your mountain laurel bedroom, and that we can publish it. just another team olson memorabilia item to add to our list. itunes will probably pick it up soon and make it into a top selling MP3 and then obviously our performance career will skyrocket from there. We’ll wave to you all from the top of the charts.

Fuck your ass, amo

astrology yo

im sitting in the hotel lobby (apparently i didnt get the memo that we aren't meeting until 8) so while im waiting, here's some astrology for ya. 

CANCER:
Two of the best money-saving steps you can take, says TV's mock pundit Stephen Colbert, are to stop filling your hot tub with champagne and stop lining your gerbil's cage with hundred-dollar bills. I highly recommend that you brainstorm about initiating similar conservative and preservative actions, Cancerian. It's time for you to get really serious about shedding wasteful habits, cutting out needless excesses, and culling trivial activities that impinge on the time and energy you have available for the really important things. This shouldn't be a cause for demoralization, by the way. On the contrary, the more creative you are about setting limits, the more long-term blessings you'll set in motion.

welp. astrology has nailed it again. yesterday i found out that im not getting a christmas bonus and that they are cutting us down to a 4 day work week in december and maybe january, so on top of no bonus im losing 20% of my salary when i need it most - the holidays. great. guess i'll do my xmas shopping at the dollar store this christmas. it is really nice of the company to not lay anyone off though. very democratic of them. go 8!

VIRGO:
It might be a good idea to temporarily avoid wearing stiletto heels, Virgo. The risk of slipping while wearing them is greater than usual. In a similar vein, I suggest you refrain from tightrope walking, putting yourself on a pedestal, or dreaming of climbing a ladder to the clouds. Two more suggestions: Don't look down on people whom you imagine are inferior to you and don't promise more than you can deliver. You catch my drift? Stay away from high and mighty forms of expression. Choose low, deep, and funky positions instead. Be as down-to-earth as you can possibly be.

basically just have fun on vicodin.

SCORPIO:
At one point during the comedic film Life of Brian, set in ancient Rome, the hero Brian is working as a vendor selling snacks to spectators at a gladiator match. "Wrens' livers," he says. "Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot." A potential buyer turns to him and asks, "Got any nuts?" Brian says, "I haven't got any nuts. Sorry. I've got larks' tongues. Otters' noses. Ocelot spleens." Judging from your current astrological omens, Scorpio, I suspect you may soon be in a position analogous to the spectator. You will really want plain old basic nuts, but someone will be trying to get you to sample the wrens' livers. My advice? Steer clear of exotic stuff you don't have an appetite for. Hold out until the nuts are available.

jesus kmo and finn. your horoscopes are always so weird. just go gather some nuts.


xoxo, amo

mallrats

hey y'all. amo here. at the hotel. not at the mall where i have spent 30 of the last 37 hours. shit man i could write a book on all of the tpbbf i have seen there over the past two days. i've been pulling an m2 and befriending everyone because i think its hilarious (although i wish i had some of m1's vicodin cause that would make everything even more funny/ridiculous/cloud 9000.)

so, here is my list of things i think you should know about good ol NC suburban malls:

1. mall food courts still suck.

they are just as bad as they have always been. except worse because here all of the asian ladies are yelling at you to try their sweet and sour chicken. things i have eaten in the past 2 days: a FSAD cold panini, some chick-fil-a waffle fries, the worst fish&chips ive ever encountered that i took 2 bites of and vomiked in my mouth, an egg, a piece of toast, a side salad from chick-fil-a, one more waffle fry, dippin dots, and a multigrain roll. and about 78231481269 americanos. im wired out of my fucking mind. and hungry cause everything i try to eat tastes like barf. 

2. mall walkers start at 7:30 am.

yes. people come to the mall to exercise. they bring their disc-men and FUPA packs and walk around the mall over and over again. alone. and they look at you weird when you are walking around with an itouch looking for the slightest bit of free wireless to check the team olson blog. mind your own beeswax mallwalkers. just go eat some cinnabon. 

3. hollister plays the same 3 songs over and over again. 

and their store smells like i just stuck my face into a highschool jocks armpit. 

4. massage chairs are the shit. 

i spend about 2 hours of my day today in a massage chair in brookstone. most. amazing. thing. ever. it costs $4000 and feels like you are being punched all over. in a good way. the dude in brookstone started bringing cool shit over to me and showing it to me. for example: a sweet remote control helicopter that he almost dropped on my head, a nyt digital reader, some slide scanner thing, some slippers, one of those stuffed animal soft things that m2 bought kmo and m1 for xmas last year, and some crazy future eye-viewer thing that you would watch movies on. (2d will have that tomorrow) oh yeah, and he loves iphones. so we talked about those for awhile and all the apps he would get if he had one. he also told me all of the mall drama that was going on and where other new stores were being built, and that he spends 50-60 hours a week there. then i got his number. 

(hahaha pause not. just wanted to freak you out)

5. twelve year old boys are badass. 

one of them winked at me. 

6. nincompoops work at mall kiosks. 

dude who does the hiring for these things. they are some of the most socially inept people i've met in awhile. they try to sell you all sorts of shit and then you ask them how much it costs and they have to go look it up in their binder. and then you walk away and walk by them an hour later and they forget you ever existed. if i ever have to look at a pile of clip on ponytails (sorry m2 im not hatin) or cellphone covers again im probably gonna MBO. 

7. christmas music. all day. is evil.  

gag me already its not even tgivs.

8. teenage couples are NOT cute. 

do people still hold hands and walk around the mall buying things from yankee candle. apparently so. 

9. velour suits and ugg boots. 

thats all i have to say about that. 

10. things im into: applying a full face at sephora on lunch break. 

yupp. after eating my side salad and drinking some lemonade i went and applied a full face at sephora. i even tried diors lip venom thing so my lips were tingling for 2 hours after lunch while i was doing stuff on site. it did work though, all the workers were nice to me and asking me how i was doing and if they could help with anything. SCORE. 

okay thats it. its 1am and i have a MFCSFSAD wake up call at 630 am. 

NOTE: as much as it sounds like i didnt do anything all day, keep in mind that i was at this mall for 14 hours and sometimes there were so many people on site that you had to get out of there and give them room. and cfl i wanted some stories to tell. 

18 more hours til we meet again team o. can't fucking wait. good night. 

love, amo

well first im gonna make a drink. and then i'll post

so laudster inspired me to procrastinate, thank you.

this weekend was fun, minus all the furtive glances at the blog to make sure i wasn't missing anything. friday night i don't remember what i did and it was fun, saturday i also don't remember what i did so it must've been fun. sunday though.. sunday was good. sunday was the day when i strolled down to the local theatre and watched a high quality porno. not a porno that zach & miri would make but a porno of which the target audience is... 13 year old girls.

yes.

i did see twilight this weekend.

now let me explain. k-rock & i were up for some sweet Bond action, i for my love of all things bond esp. the: fight scenes/chase scenes/martinis. /suaveness/general sweet clothiers/the fact i've shot a walther pp7/blah blah blah lets blow some sh-t up etc., and k-rock just wanted to go b/c she thought she'd get to see daniel craig half naked again.

So we go to the Bond movie, which i think you should go see. Its not better than Casino Royale but its still a decent sequel. there was great action, but not enough down time and a little bit of insanity that held this movie back from being much better. The movie was necessary to advance the plot line and show some character development but it they could have done it much more smoothly than this effort. .... hold up.

side note: i just left for an hour and came back and there are still ice cubes in my drink, itb?.

alright..

anyways bond was sweet. so k-rock & i watch some of the credits and then head out of the movie theatre, i get a mint (and it later turns into my dinner), and proceed to go use the WC because k-rock had to P since the feature presentation got its roll on. and who do we walk into but c-po (see po) who was there w/ her gf seeing Twilight. she didn't want to be stuck w/ her gf (long freaking story that i wont be telling you later) so she asks if we want to watch the movie with her, so we all look at each other and then decide what the hell it can't be that bad.

Im not gonna lie it was a good movie. it was also basically a porno. edward cullen and (isa)bella, the main characters, were eye-FUCKING the whole time. it was ridiculous. they'd do these close up shots of their faces when they were looking at each other and they'd be biting their lips and breathing all heavy. it was so ra(u)nchy i had to TIU, don't tell k-rock. i would have to say Bella orgasmed at least 7 times in the movie; a pg-13 rated movie. I wouldn't recommend bringing your children to the movie but you should bring your vibrator, lube & some kleenex. needless to say I'm looking forward to the sequel. i know all the screaming tweens at the theater are too.

but be forewarned you may develop an unhealthy relationship w/ fictional characters who are way to hot for our own good. i can offer up my friend for references b/c she is now living in a dream-like state where her and edward cullen are back in high school dating and walking each other to class and lame stuff like that. seriously.

-finn

vicodin + forgetting sarah marshall = my new life

things i'm newly into: vicodin.

i was just discussing how i was going to sell my pills. just kidding. or maybe take them myself. just kidding. or maybe i really fell in love with them. just kidding. but probably i shouldn't tell you my real plan. just kidding. the pain feels like a sunburn. just kidding. even though they said thats what it would feel like. just kidding.

if you're ever bored watched sarah marshall and pop a few. its gr8. sorry dad and mom i swear you won't have to admit me in a year from now. :) or maybe you will. just kidding.

i can't wait to see everyone tomorrow. xoxox. m1

its 1230 (sctrach that, its 4am), i'm still working so im going to blog real quick

MH's latest blog is absolutely hilarious. I vaguely vaguely remember this happening. Not so sure how I feel about that whole prank/joke, but man its funny thinking back on those days. the cloverhill pool. sheeesh i have a million funny stories i could tell on that subject :)

But, alas.... I'm exhausted and still have so much work to do.

Team Olson wants to wish m1 a speedy recovery for her surgery tomorrow though. i'll be thinking about you sis. I know you will pull through and your full face will look perfect ... albeit maybe a little round from the meds ;) through the entire surgery. can't wait to see you on those pain meds - that's always a fun/ridiculously annoying situation hahahha. jk i love you

<3 kmo

btw this is an update. it is now 4am. i am just finishing (read: giving up) on work and going to bed. my throat hurts soooo bad. great. b/c i didnt really want to be able to talk to my family over thanksgiving or anything...

yogi berra's worst quote of the day

Yogi Berra - "I never said most of the things I said."

what does that even mean? from now on i'm just going to say that to get out of things. cfl, bfd, idc.

in case of emergency person contact

I do not consider myself to be an actress. I do, however, consider myself to be a pretty good liar. To be honest I don't really see that much of a difference. An actor is playing someone they are not, so technically aren't they just really good liars? Well I digress...

When you are 13 years old it is normal to play jokes on your friends. Dipping their hands in warm water while they sleep is a fan favorite. Or unscrewing the salt shaker top before someone uses it to season their favorite meal. Which in turns ruins the rest of their day. Oh friends! Amo, Kmo, and I would always take it a step further. Possibly a step to far... who knows.

One snowy day Amo and I were enjoying each other's company in her basement. We became bored. We had watched enough South Park for one day and were looking for something else to do. Well duh!!! The obvious thing to do it fake kmo's death. Geesh no brainer. We thought, "If Kmo were to be dying who would be most affected by it?" The first person who came to mind, Kim S. Kim was a "friend" of Kmo's but not so sure her "in case of emergency person". Especially after the whole David incident, but that will be explained at a later date.

We picked up the phone and dialed. It started ringing. Immediately I began to become my character. IF Kmo was dying how would I react... and action!!! Kim picked up.

I started going into hysterics, "Kim! Kim! Oh god! Kmo is dying! She's not breathing! What should we do?"

Kim paused. "I dont know."

Thats it. Kim's reaction was nothing like we thought it would be. You would think a little more despair and anguish. Possibly a little more thought? Not sure.

I then barked back, "Do you not care? She cant breath! Shes blueish!"

Kim replied by laughing.

It was pointless. I hung up on Kim. I knew never to use her as my one phone call. That is if I happened to be arrested at the Clover Hill pool or something. Amo and I then used the call as an evaluation of Kim and Kmo's friendship. We ran to Kmo's house.

Kristin answered the door. "If you are ever not breathing and turning blue DO NOT CALL KIM S! If you do she'll just laugh!"

Kmo stood there having no idea what we were talking about.

Then I said, "Just thought you should know." As we shrugged our shoulders and turned to walk back up the driveway.

I think everyone can learn a lesson from this. Do put Kim S as your "In Case Of An Emergency Person".
-MH or 007

as requested

alright heres the general horoscope for today at 8 pm since Finn requested it this morning at 8 am:
Monday, November 24th, 2008: The Moon's shift from gracious Libra to intense Scorpio at 12:54 pm EST can bring us to our senses. We may have been successful at sidestepping a difficult issue, but avoidance is no longer a viable strategy. Tension between combative Mars and exuberant Jupiter makes it hard to withdraw once we've stated our position. Fortunately an intelligent Mercury-Saturn quintile gives us the ability to create a workable plan and then execute it with authority.

and btw i just told my mother i was going into surgery tomorrow with full face, itb? she said is there any other way to go? obvi not unless your kmo and sometimes you forget. im pretty sure she doesn't even do that anymore bc she put a full face on to gchat a few days ago. :) pray for me tomorrow, i'll be MIA from the blog all day.

to do list cont.

-spend amo's gift certificates at vibrant artwear

-pack my house. thankyouyesplease.

-drink the case of wine in my garage.

-plan our next vacay

xoxo sista luv.

ALRIGHT EVERYONE CALM DOWN JUST BECAUSE I DONT BLOG FOR 2 DAYS I AM NOT DEAD

HI FOCKERS

1. It is really weird that my horoscope earlier this week said something about me making homemade pumpkin soup. Two days prior to that I had asked a coworker for the recipe she used for it and I made it with Ali Friday night. It was amazing. So shut up M1. KMO can and does now make homemade pumpkin soup.

2. I am now obsessed with Irish Coffee (with lots of whipped cream on it). I had one last night at Logan Tavern. At first M1 is going to say thats stupid and she doesnt like it. But then she will try mine and immediately she's going to be obsessed with them too. I wore that dress out last night that M1 wore to my birthday party. Damn that shit is short. cfl.

3. I lost my voice this weekend. Yes I am taking care of myself but I also like to go on weekend benders which Team Olson only supports if they are involved.

4. I'll be home Wednesday. Let's make a blog post on things we'll do while we are home. AMO and I already discussed at least one: Look at GA's myspace. (Hope its been updated in the past year).

5. Annie Lennox can still belt it out but she looked really scared of Justin Timberlake.

6. Kanye West can't make up his mind. He tried to give his award away??? Really?

7. M1 pretends she's asleep when I call her past 8pm. Thats funny. Pause. Not.

8. M1 and AMO think I fall off the face of the earth but they never once call me to see where I am/what I'm doing/whats going on with me. Normal.

9. I missed Brothers and Sisters tonight :(

10. Really pumped about our new guestblogger, MH. She can move into the Olson's house whenever she wants.

This should suffice for at least everyone realizing I am still alive and committed to the Team Olson Blog. 3 days till our reunion.... can't wait.

Goodnight.
kmo

yo, turn that mic up...

we are three girls from maryland who love to entertain
we would like to know if you want to play our game
submit a rap thats all about team O
we know its pretty easy, cause we always put on a show
we dont have much rhythm, so lets use yours
please be sure to include a 2 versus and a chorus
try not to throw us too far under that bus
cause we like to stay fresh, thats a must
deadline is turkey day so dont get too full
cause we need yo rhymes, not yo MBO's

submit to: theteamolson@gmail.com

fan mail

we'd love to hear from you and are always looking for blog ideas.

submit your stories and fan mail to: theteamolson@gmail.com



and then our shirts got waaaaaaay better and the family grew

MH is only getting started....

I have so many stories to tell. It is very dangerous for me to have a media outlet to tell them. Not many people know but everytime I remember something funny I write it in this book. My mom and I are hoping one day we can turn into a book. One random day I thought of a title... "Is a Pigeon a Cannibal If Its Eating a Chicken Wing?" Itb?? Yes that is real. I saw a pigeon eating a chicken wing on the side walk one day on my way to work. I thought it was really odd. A bird eating another bird? Is that allowed? I dont think so but Im not sure. So I called my mom for a second opinion. I said " Mom is a pigeon a cannibal if it eats a chicken wing?" and she said " I think you just got the title for your book." Totally ignoring my question. Which my family often does bc they are always ridiculous and they refuse to dignify them with a response. Anyway!!!! After all that Im happy to be a part of Teamolson's blog. Yay! Cant wait.

- MH

kmo is awol

kmo where the heck are you? riding around in the wagoneer with toots?

introducing our newest guest blogger

MH is going to be joining us from brooklyn. she's been an intern for a high end purse designer, helen welsh. she now is an intern for 3sixteen and just graduated from LIM with a marketing degree and we are so proud of her. she has an unusual attachment to her blanket and stuffed rabbit. wow so do i with my blankie :) welcome to the fam MH! we are happy to have you and feel free to move in with us anytime!

time to get back to sunday night football. pauseNAHT~

the mom jean phenomenon

i went to a party last night in brooklyn heights. it was full of what most of you would easily describe as hipsters. and, tragically, about half of these folk were those inevitable "fashion hipsters." i will define that for you m1. a fashion hipster is someone who goes far beyond the normal realm of satirical clothing choices and decides that they are going to bring back every obnoxious trend from the past, and pretend its ironic and that therefore, they look cool and edgy. some examples: crimped hair, starter jackets, tucked in baggy t-shirts, large hair ornaments....basically anything that jesse spano (or any of the saved by the bell cast members) would wear. and that includes mom jeans. 

now, i've witnessed mom jeans creeping their way back into society over the past couple years. (mostly in williamsburg) im gonna be honest, they really do not look good on anybody. it does not matter how ano you are, how small your waist is, and if you have a BGB. you will still look like a mom. they will enhance any sort of FUPA that you may be inclined to have, make your ass look saggy, your legs look shorter, and give you the worlds worst camel toe. shirley and i defined this as "an around the world wedgie." 

these particular mom jeans i saw last night were a rotten breed. acid wash. vomik. this girl (who looked like she probs had a hot bod underneath this disaster) was prancing around the apartment in what could possibly be described as cute boots. but i could not be bothered to consider them fashionable because her ass looked like it was 24" long. in a bad way. she also had one of those rocker mullets and a plain baggy black t-shirt tucked into these catastrophe pants. to top it off she was holding them up with some sort of metallic belt that was pulled so tight it made the waist of the pants squinch up. 

but, sadly, its not just williamsburg jumping on this bandwagon. hollywood is tragically going there too. mischa. really? she is one of the most awkwardly skinny people in entertainment, yet she looks like she has birthed 5 children.  

so, team olson, lets make a vow now to never succumb to the mom jean phenomenon. keep them on the mid-western, diet-coke drinking, caravan driving mothers. thankyouyou'rewelcome. 

love, amo

property of gunit

see i even got in with them...

eye candy

our father.

hahaha.

whats with all the randomness today?

shit the past 24 hours got away from me fast. I'm not quite sure what i've been doing but i'll try and explain. i just peed myself reading the blogs that amo and finn wrote and now i feel compelled to keep up so here we go...

i went to bed on thursday night at about 10 after cussing out the tv because grey's anatomy has gotten so STUPID. izzy's sleeping with her dead fiance. and i wake up after 10 hours of sleep like normal. no seriously i sleep 10 hours every night and ive convinced myself that if i get an odd number hours i need to go back to sleep because i'll remain tired all day. who knows where it came from but i can't get over it. maybe its part of my ADD or maybe i'll just blame it on my ADD because thats easy. anyway so i wake up and ponder going to the gym and quickly get over that idea bc i want a cup of coffee. however, my SFAD coffee maker is broken and SUCKS. so i put a hat on (i looked so homeless) and made my way to starbucks where I stare at everyone that comes in. kmo would probably say i had an ugly look on my face and my jaw dropped down sizing them up way too hard. i eat their oatmeal and want to immediately vomick it up. how do you mess up oatmeal?

i then head home to shower because i have to work at the fairgrounds for the xmas show. can you even imagine the things i could write about from that show? i get all ready and get there and someone else is covering the shift. i'm slightly relieved but then i quickly am reminded i have NOTHING to do now. i guess i could work but i'm going on working 5 hours this week so I should probably stick with it. i then drive in circles for about an hour until an ex boyfriend calls and asks if i want to have lunch. i turn him down and listen to his ridiculous story about what kind of medication he needs to be on before he loses his new girlfriend, bible girl. i laugh and then get off the phone moving onto what i'm really going to do next. i think i drive in a few more circles before i head over to my dad's townhouse. i get there and immediately my throat clogs and swells from the smell. i pack a few things and get the fcuk out of there. i head home and am greeted by my 4 lb dog that i so dearly love who has mbo'ed everywhere.

its now close to 4 o'clock and i've done nothing. i have this game i play in my head everyday its that i can't come home before 3:30 because I feel like i didn't accomplish anything so its 4 now and i can come home and watch oprah. and boy was it a good one. SEX was the topic and i then was immediately reminded that i'm not having sex but i watch it anyway. good tips if you want them go to www.oprah.com

somewhere in that time frame i get a call from one of my girlfriends my 30/30 girlfriend who is having a problem. see she and i decided that we had too many friends that were 55/5's. that means they talk for 55 minutes about their lives and all the bs going on with them and then for the last 5 minutes they ask you if you are alright. its immediatley followed up with a "i'm sorry i have to run the kids are calling me". i'm sure you have some of them. so we talk and laugh about cafe asia where she's just been getting her hair done and get off the phone.

somewhere between 6 and 10 i lose it via text firing off a whole bunch of "hate mail" texts to my 'boy other'. things go sour quickly.

its about 10 and i get a text from my best guy friend who is already about 10 washington apples deep. he calls to tell me that he and his guy rooommates are having a 1st ever roommate night while laughing hard in the phone. riiiight. then he proceeds to tell me way too much info about his sex life (with his virgin gf) from the night before. more friends arrive and he tries to maintain 10 conversations forgetting i'm even on the phone. i then get off the phone and i go to sleep. waking up to a picture text from RG titled "rt's cd collection" its looks like this.


i laugh and get out of bed.

i heaad to the gym and then am meeting a girlfriend for coffee. on the way i get a phone call from one of my good guy friends. he asks me to move to nyc and get married "getting on with our lives" he claims. he tries to convince me that we are in the same places in life and he thinks it would be a great idea. meanwhile ive told him a thousand times absolutely not. not to mention hes in a relationship with a girl we've nicknamed 80 bars and i'm in something that i'm not sure how to label it. i end that convo. a few hours later he sends me a text saying "i just cleared out my closet for some space for when you move up here with me". i mean seriously what the heck is going on here. i say no Glenn i am not moving to NYC with you.

i put my house on the rental market sometime in the afternoon and then meet the carpet guy. i head home shortly after to get a text from some number i have no idea who it is. it says this "so a ham sandwich walks into the bar and orders a beer. the bartender says sorry we don't serve food here! lets get drinks soon!" i find out it one of k's friends and respond back. he then says "does that mean we can be valentines?" lol. its only november and i'm only able to concentrate on 1 thing in my life at this point. i'm sorry but i dont think i can be your valentine. just in the small chance you are reading this here is your shout out.

its now 5 and i'm meeting a gf for drinks tonight. gee can't wait to go out in exciting frederick just to see all the people from high school that you never wanted to run into to begin with. probably won't end up going and i'll be in bed at 10 on the dot again tonight.

ugh i need the girls back. steve did you buy our plane tickets yet? oh did i say that? i mean umm did you research them for us?
xoxo, m1 sisterhood 4eva....

the story of yesterday

amo's friday:

so yesterday (friday november 21 2008....happy birthday garrett) started as any normal friday does. i woke up at 8:45 (when im supposed to be at work at 9) get to work around 9:45 (oops!) turn on my computer (after making some jokes at people so they like me even though im late), and immediatley open: ichat, mail, and firefox with the following tabs: gmail.com, teamolsonblog.blogspot.com, newyorktimes.com (how hipster of me), bookface.com, verizon.com (so i can look at the blackberry storm), at&t.com (so i can check rates on iphone plans), and then an untitled tab that can be my default "click to" tab so i can start pretending that i am typing something profound into google search if someone happens to walk by my desk (itb?)

so here i am, with dumb merriam webster word of the day and urbandictionary word of the day, and some stupid email from sephora...but NOTHING from team olson. (well, besides this from m1: www.typealyzer.com and then enter the blog name. it analyzes what kind of blog it is.) what do i do? they aren't even on gchat. ugh.

so the dreaded friday begins: i.start.doing.work. which consisted of photoshopping five final renderings of the store i have been working on for marketing use. (i only finished one, now i have to do the rest this weekend, oops!)

anyways, so in between working on these renderings, i am obviously going back to all of those firefox tabs i mentioned and refreshing them (i do this anywhere between one and fifteen times per hour, depending on the work load).

so here i am with a cell phone bill and a credit card bill in my gmail reminding me that i don't actually have money but that i continue to pretend i do, no updates whatsoever to the team olson blog (where are you guys?), some depressing story about the economy on nyt, boring bookface activity (so i write on kmo's wall), a frozen verizon site because everyone else in the country is looking at this too, and the iphone calling my credit card to make one more purchase.

so now its lunch time. and i cant decide what to eat because i realize that i forgot to eat breakfast and i am starving beyond recognition (damnit nemo, you were right). i am paralyzed by starvation/indecision and sit there for an hour thinking about it/waiting for someone to make a decision for me. finally the coworker to the left and the coworkers behind me decide that we should just go out for burgers/beer. ahhhh, theres that friday feeling.

2 hours later. im at my desk. full. its 4pm. i text kmg to see when i can meet up with her. she says 615.

yes! there goes the receptionist to get happy hour. the next 2 hours are set. we get some champagne, strawberries, guacamole, chips and beer. (wtf??) who cares, im not eating that shit anyway, im ano.

so im sitting there getting a nice buzz preparing myself for a fun night. then. at 545, i get a stupid FSAD task to find a MFCSSOAB 10" white glass ball that will go on top of a christmas tree in the store, that can be shipped overnight. sounds easy? pause NOT. after cussing out an amazon representative and a store clerk, i just order some stupid thing thats probably not going to work (its a replacement globe for a ceiling light, is that bad?), because its now 7:30 pm and i need to get the F out of work.

so, i go meet kmg and ms (blondies 1 & 2) down in soho, an hour late. yupp, they've already finished a bottle of wine. BUT! they haven't heard any of the stories from kmos birthday party or this blog. so i dive right in. about an hour later (and two more bottles of wine, and some gross cold fishsticks that kmg ordered) they are sitting there in awe with their jaws hitting the floor. kmg immediatley says "why am i not part of this blog yet" and proceeds to name (slur?) about 73827428167 things she could potentially write about.

so at this point, we are hammered (its 10pm). and hungry. so we decide to go eat dinner in billyburg with br1. after we leave an incoherent voicemail on kmo's phone. at this point kmg has already stopped at the corner store (or as she likes to call it: bodega) and bought cigs, salt & vinegar chips, and a bottle of water. typs.

we get in a cab. kmg & ms are killin me with the shit thats flying out of their mouth. ms is talking to the cab driver about botox and jesus. kmg is screaming at the top of her lungs asking him if he likes chips. he says no. and then she screams that they are salt & vinegar so that should change his mind. im sitting back in awe. ms is basically in the front seat of the van having what she would probably describe as a "serious" conversation with this poor man. he offers her his bible. she declines.

so thats basically the end of the story because dinner wasnt that interesting besides stuffing our faces with dumont burger (oops, ate at 2 burger places yesterday) and drinking yet another bottle of white wine in 3o degree weather. normal.

i will leave you with an unbelievably adorable picture of team olson when we were very young.



tiu, amo

finn fridays

nemos blog that he sent to our email. and then decided to change the whole thing? or just write another one? damn he kicked our butt at blogging yesterday:

a blog! a blog! a wonderful blog.

today was fun. i got to take out all my passive aggressive anger against the General Contractor of this job that im working on. essentially i got to audit all the "line items" [(billable items on a job, like cubic yards of concrete, floor materials, exciting stuff like that (i know you guys think im cool, don't lie to yourself {shakes head no})] and take out $500,000 worth of bs work that never happened, was inflated, or was doubled/tripled/slash i wanna be a GC so that i can lie to people and probably make way more money than my intellect should allow for. pause... not. i like not being an idiot and not making any money, its artsy. maybe this blog wil make me famous and i won't have to worry about working again. m1 (and that little dog too) i hope you're on this. i think im gonna eat something for dinner, b/c thats what you do when you dinner, you eat things. at least thats what my friends tell me. wait all my friends are ano ::stares through the computer screen at you:: so im not gonna eat and just drink like amo does. dyk that is the only thing amo does at her job too?, she's like the smartest cheerleader (who can't do the splits, evidence team O vacay pics circa this summer) ever. actually i had a beer today at lunch work. it was good but i couldn't get drunk b/c i think i might get fired, like every other job i've done that at.

morale of the story: drinking at work is allowed if you can make people flaff.

laters,

nemo/finn/sbmo

im on your blog; making unauthorized posts

i guess the girls don't post on fridays so i'm here to fill you (mostly just myself) in on the latest news.  like:  where is team olson? hungover? (not m1 but i bet shes good at pretending) still out partying from the night before? OR my theory, on a 17 hour bus ride somewhere, just for fun. you know?  once you've ridden the seedy underbelly that is greyhound you can't go back, its like crack (that you can probably find in btw the seat cushions on the bus)  

sadly i don't have any songs to share that i made up when i was out for a night on the town motorboating (yes. motorboating) but i do have irrelevant drivel that my friend Karra Bacon might like.  but thats about as far as the twaddle goes so Karra; you're out of luck.  

alright back to theories as to what the ladies are doing.

1) buying zoe dog outfits

2) not being in kansas anymore

3) surprising me for my birthday? (i do have a nice pull-out couch you can sleep on)

4) out to a classy dinner (LaL)

5) throwing people under the bus they're riding in, to come see me for my birthday

6) looking for abby. have YOU seen abby?

7) thinking of more inside jokes i will never understand

8) drankin 40s, poppin aspirins and hangin at the local 7/11

not gonna lie, i just took like 2 minutes away from the blog and stalked people on bookface.  2 minutes is about how much time i can stand before i have to manically check to see if anyone posted anything else.  those girls can have some MBOs sometimes, like mBLOGo, k im ACTUALLY probably gonna go drink a 40.

no aspirin.

maxx out

team olson tupper lake theme song

must be sung at top of lungs while going under a bridge on a speed boat at tupper lake.

oh i'm a camper
and not a damper
and my ears are made of leather
and they flop in windy weather
GOSH OH HEMLOCK
im tough as a pinenut
oh im a camper can't you see
BA DUM BA DUM

(repeat...loudly)

i love you period.

remember this song?

Back when I was goin' to school,
I never learned a thing
All I did was daydream,
a-waitin' for the bell to ring
I had a certain teacher,
I always tried to impress her
When she stood up in the classroom,
I would mentally undress her
Then one day I decided,
that I would write a little letter
She said the spellin' was a masterpiece,
the punctuation could be better
I understood what she was saying,
I got the gist of her sentiment
She said "I don't mean to be degrading,
"but here's the way that it should've went:"

i love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses
i love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses

Right on up to high school,
people said I was a writin' fool
All my letters became really great,
with punctuation that was never late
But I was havin' trouble meetin' girls,
I never knew the things to say
Soon I had 'em all overwhelmed,
when they heard me talk this way, like this:

I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses
I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses

i'm pretty sure i wrote it. anyone else remember this?
m1

a day in the life of team olson...by sbmo/nemo

So I only lived the life for one day but it was enough, im hooked (i've never met anyone who wasn't). next time you're thinking about: ditching your gf (it was only a run!), spending money you don't have, loosing (loose?) valuable electronics, Team O can take care of you (or throw you under the bus). They treated me well. Except when they forgot to tell me i looked like a cancer patient.. all weekend (make a wish!). CFL, LES, SARS. im over it (shakes head no) , what im not over is this sneaking suspicion that they named (developed?) an acronym from me (or m1, but i like it being about you more, its funny)... Mbo - I hope they didn't but if they did that would be worse than the TIU guy (that guy DID NOT TIU) b/c that can happen to anybody (well mostly 7th & 8th graders but still) (and guys who are bout to COC in gym shorts).

things (m1) is into: being a blog superstar (laudster)
things (kmo) (abby??...) is not into (nods (shakes) head yes): silver diner (black and white milkshakes)
things (amo) is EH-EH! (well i guess im the one under the bus in this one)
LaLipop

a couple of things i forgot... the ladies do not cuss (FSADMFBCS), so try to refrain from profanity (shakes head no) . don't have any Mbo's on their watch or they'll throw you under the bus. don't do anything in their field of vision or they'll throw you under the bus. (i just peed myself)

other things: zoe may or may not be a 12 lb. plush doll, that is yet to be confirmed. alison is still a vegetarian (technically a piscetarian (pescatarian, thats the M3 in me) , bfd though). (shirley) too but thats another issue. k.o. may or may not have a roommate (who may or may not hate us after saturday afternoon's activities), also yet to be confirmed.

the moral of the story is: BWI (airport?). blogging while intoxicated is not cool, evidence above(i thought it was funny). also i guess 17 hour bus rides aren't cool either (well, i guess if you don't have anything better to do they are okay).

less than 3,

seabass (sbmo/nemo/finn)

(things im into: parentheses) (me too)

we want to be in kmo's cabal

I forgot to give a shout out to RG yesterday and congratulate him for his acceptance into Gtown. We are all so proud of you and think you should head straight to the lacoste store for a brand new shirt so you can pop that collar. Perhaps you could stop at that big chair and chug a few 40's first. Attention everyone if you want to find RG in the future he'll be at smith point on thursday nights. you're already on the list, aren't you? we are so damn proud of you!!! xoxo.

I think you girlies should wake up and know whats in store for you today. so here it is...lylas aml.

RG I'll give you yours today as well:

Capricorn:

You fully understand the protocol in a situation and know how to handle big egos in a small company town. You understand that no matter how smart and accomplished you are - and no matter how frequently you've propped up certain egocentric types, it's always best to not toot your own horn - not in front of them, anyway. When you're with your peeps, it's different. You can be yourself without fear of being knocked down or 'put in your place.' But today urges you to remember the people you're dealing with and the grand illusion they cling to. There's not enough room for more than one big ego at a time today. You're a remarkable, sensible person able to respect another's success instead of obsess about his or her narcissism. That requires a lot of practice and patience and explains some of your success.

Cancer:

For November 20: You recognize how much your attitude affects the way you feel. The impact of your emotions on your quality of life, energy level and ability to savor each moment is profound. This is not to say that you don't have a real medical problem, too. Some of you do. But the way you feel about a problem could have a powerful effect on how you get well. As a Cancer, you understand that you tend to burrow into a routine, get comfy with it and repeat it as often as necessary. Even when the routine produces unsatisfactory rewards, the sameness and comfort level associated with familiarity makes it difficult for you to break away and try something new. Now is the time, Cancer. In fact, starting tomorrow, there has never been a better time to break out of self-imposed shackles and aim for a freer, more independent life.

Virgo:

You're so on it today! You go out of your way to take charge and are extremely aware of others' needs, moods and preferences. You go to the mat for them, doing whatever you can to make an experience a pleasure and an exemplary testament to your excellence and high standards. No one understands service, dedication to detail and quality and discretion better than you do. Today displays your skills in a favorable, memorable way.

Scorpio:

You and a few handpicked friends or colleagues (let's call it your cabal) can create your own focus group in order to choose the best options in a business, creative or personal matter. Don't expect sample groups of strangers to react to products and services the same way your target group would. You and your closest friends, colleagues or confidantes can get that done quicker and more discreetly than anyone else. And it won't cost a thing. Today is excellent for planning and suggesting ideas with a very light touch. Tomorrow will be better for gunning your engine and applying a little (or maybe a lot) more pressure.

how long do you think it will be until we start using the word cabal? already done. can i be in your cabal dear scorpio kmo? because ever since i've known you i've wanted too.

have a splendid day. see you next tuesday. :)

NEWS FLASH KMO, Team Olson won't be happy until your closet looks like this...

Easily. You wear tan and white only right? (shakes head no) and have a skylight in your closet (shakes head diagonally trying to say no but gets confused). Haha. loves it. JK i love your new FSADMF shelf. I think I will definetly have less of a heart attack the next time I borrow a pashmina.

Its 5'oclock in hawaii, whos down for flying there to get HH. Mai tai's are on me? Bring the MaryKay, i need some commission.

I joined a volleyball league with g&m today. ya know, my 2 nyc blondies? should be hilarious. maybe you guys should join it too and acela express up to nyc for the games? okay i'll sign you up tomorrow. no biggie.

NEXT: i called my dad tonight and guess who was at his house talking about our crazy weekend???? M2!!!!!!! I could hear her laughing SO HARD in the background about something ridiculous. So funny. I hope they become bff and start cussing again. FDABS.

M1 have you had any WD's lately? We need to fill KMO in on that new one stat. she will immediatley use it in an inappropriatley amazing way. (shakes head maybe, but probs yes) too far?

<3 amo

jackie-0?

our mother the one who says "my sister showed up with a hair piece on yesterday and i about had a stroke" comes in with this one the other night.


i can't take that seriously come on...

she fell out of a chair 5 minutes before this and it was the funniest things i've witnessed in a long time. the leg broke and she went down in slow motion grabbing for everything in site until she got the place mat and pulled all the food down on top of her. i felt really bad for her and wasn't laughing at all (shaking head no).
m1

full face

(again, amos revisions to this are in pink. cfl if you wanted pink to be your revision color m1, its mine. just kidding i will change it to yellow. just kidding. i hate yellow. just kidding. ok, here it goes.......)

and i'm not talking about my complex for drinking too much beer (shakes head yes) and my face turning round (shakes head yes). full face is when your mother calls you up and tells you you aren't allowed to come somewhere without a full face of makeup on. this all started when my Grandfather passed away a year ago and my mother was more worried about what her girls were going to show up looking like. She took kmo immediately to the makeup counter and bought her an entire new line of makeup for the funeral (i wish i was there for this so i could have gotten some too). usually people are grieving at a time like that. nope not in my family.

this reminds me of a story my father (2D) told this weekend at a nice dinner table (with terrible service that didnt think team olson was funny). when we were little our mother sold mary kay makeup (and i once painted myself black w it, itb?). thank god she never won that pink car either. anyway she went out of town with another women that also sold (sounds like shes a drug dealer)and while they were away my dad had a "guys night" (at the race tracks). he tells us when he got home he put his friend richard to bed in the guest room (or the marykay store) (this was about 3 am, GO 2D!! what a party animal). anyway my father wakes up at about 3 am (i thought it was 5 am, but whos counting?) and hears a bunch of shuffling around. he goes into the guest room and see richard peeing into the drawer with all the mary kay makeup in it. his exact words were "pissing all over your mothers mary kay makeup". he is so drunk and sleep walking he has no idea what he's doing. he then proceeds to wake him up and tell him to "choke the chicken" until he can make it to the bathroom to finish peeing. (but while he is telling this story in the nice restaurant, he gets a little side tracked with this comment and proceeds to get all 5 of the tables surrounding us involved as he is yelling "YOU"RE CHOKING THE WRONG CHICKEN!!!!!!) god i love team olson celebration dinners. anyway, the next day they decide they will never tell anyone because my mother would be devastated. so my mom goes on with life selling those beautiful colors (shaking head no) and applying full faces of piss. (shit now that i think about it, did i paint myself black with pee make-up?!?!??!?!? hahahahhahaha thats why my skin is so nice.)

m1

we put the fun in dysFUNction

Some would say that 2007 was an abnormal year for the Olson's, I however think its just become a normal to accept the things that go on in my family. I'll post my last years Christmas letter and then in the next few days will update the things that have happened in 2008. Not sure which one would win the award.

***names have been changed in the story to protect the innocent. or wait are they innocent?

This year was a difficult year in the Olson family. It started in the beginning of 2007 when my father’s retina tore hours before he left for vacation. He had to stare at the ground for 2 weeks straight 22 out of 24 hours a day. He then re-tore his retina a second time several months later and is slowly recovering. About 3 months later we lost our family dog, Addie. She developed lung cancer and had to be put down in May. Finally we were off to Bermuda to spend 5 days in the sun and Mom wanted to sleep a lot of the time. The day we returned from paradise my Mother had a upper endoscopy and the liquid from the breathing tube went into her lung caused her to aspirate and have pneumonia for the rest of the month. Needless to say she was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and has recovered very well. I worked for her and myself for that entire month. About a month after that I got the love of my life Zoe and she has been such a lifesaver to me. Zoe is now 7 months old and only weighs 4 lbs. ($300/lb.) Then comes the end of August beginning of September when my Grandfather becomes terribly ill. He goes into the hospital several times and then has double pneumonia in both of his lungs. The prognosis gets worse and worse and they put him on a respirator him for several days. While in the hospital my entire family has world war III in the middle of the waiting room one night and all hell starts to break loose. It wasn’t that much longer until we lost my Grandfather. Some people say it was on October 21st, well other Christmas card letters say so I’ll have to check with my Grandmother about that one. The funeral was about 5 days later and the priest is brand new and all the information is being read wrong. Did you know we were from Costa Rica?? and my Grandmother’s name is now Mary?? Similar to my Aunt changing her birthday. Oh I’m getting side tracked. kmo had a lovely year she finished her 3rd semester of her master’s program and got an A– in one of her classes. I know such a shame isn’t it. OH I forgot to add that in June my sister and her boyfriend Max broke up after 6 beautiful years. Its now beginning of November and I’m thinking things might calm down. I’m driving with someone I’m dating Victor is his name and oh yeah he completely screwed me over for his ex girlfriend. I now have the nickname “weekend girl”. And my cousin calls me and says he needs to admit some things to me. Peter decides to come clear that he is an Oxycontin user/ heroin whichever one he can’t get quicker and has stolen all kinds of things to be pawned. If you shopped at the pawn shop this year it might be some of our family things so can you bring them back to us? Thanks! Anyway I check him in to the hospital only for them to say there isn’t anything they can do. We have lunch several days later and he tells us that his brother Paul is also an oxy user and sells it for $50 profit a pill. Can you imagine that money? My cousin Martha is addicted to cocaine and both Peter and Paul’s girlfriends are also users. Did I mention my aunt married my best friends father after 6 months? That took place in August. Peter is fully recovered now and working on 45 days recovery and Paul is going into the Air Force. My Grandmother turned 82 in November and my aunt and uncle got into an argument while dinner was supposed to be served. The fighting escalated into such an argument between Jennifer, Vince and Lucy that my Grandmother punched all of them. Then after she punched them she stormed up to the farm in her car and swerved to miss a tree. (she intentionally tried to hit the tree we were told) My uncle pushed my Aunt on the ground and somehow managed to try and get away with it. That changes daily though. I’ll keep you posted. And, then my Dad’s girlfriend’s (10 year girlfriends) daughter had a baby in July. She and her baby daddy are now splitting up and so she and her baby are moving in with Dad and Samantha. My father will be 60 in September and living with a 6 month old baby. I think I’m caught up to present and I’m still single, have no money, and spend money like I do. My job is going well and I will continue to work for the magazine for a long time. Hope everyone has a wonderful year. Cheers to 2008….

stay tuned for 2008....
xoxo m1

obnoxiously overused sayings

for most of you that know me you know how much I can't stand things like this....


i mean seriously why the hell would you put that on your car???
m1

horoscopes that amo doesn't believe in...

UPDATE: amo's updates to this blog entry are in purple. cfl m1, i couldnt wait for you to fix it.

since amo told me to go buy some birthday book this weekend i'll post the "in depth and very real" horoscopes I use everyday!!!!!

Scorpio:
Daily Horoscope:
For November 19: You almost laugh when others talk about 'balance' today. From where you sit, things seem pretty whacked out this morning and afternoon. You do your best to remain calm, even when others overreact to the smallest bump in the road. It's not just the people in your immediate surroundings that seem on edge or just plain out to lunch - strangers on the street seem a touch weirder than usual. Ordinary people really aren't so ordinary after all, at least not today. Later this evening, surround yourself in privacy, peace and comfort. Maybe that means getting cozy with the love of your life, or reading a book by the fireplace. Or maybe that means savoring some of your favorite homemade pumpkin soup. Whatever it is, make this evening a comfy, peaceful oasis in an otherwise semi-cracked day.

As long as I have know kmo she has NEVER eaten homemade pumpkin soup and never will. She will however obsess over tortilla soup and i'll say i hate it and then want to try it 5 seconds later.

Gemini:

Daily Horoscope: For November 19: You're so imaginative today. Sometimes this definitely works miracles in problem solving, creative decisions and intuitive or instinctual responses. But sometimes, it goes a bit haywire and you exaggerate a problem in your own mind. You make a situation much worse than it actually is. You also feel mentally tired much of the morning and afternoon, which, of course, exacerbates the entire situation. Don't attempt to solve the mystery of epi-genomes today - and stay away from the string theory, too. By evening, you really benefit from a strong, dependable, stabilizing influence that helps you keep everything in perspective. Everything will be fine, you'll see.

hmm thats intense. could it be someone from your work? keep up the photoshoping and don't take anything too serious today. << -- who is this for again. i dunno anyone that photoshops that isnt me. :) and im not a gemini.

Cancer:

Daily Horoscope: For November 19: Some confusion may surface in a financial arrangement. You're not sure what to do or how you should handle this. You wonder if it's necessary to talk to an expert, like an attorney, financial planner or even a therapist. If you can hold onto your hat another 48 hours, most of your uncertainty will dissolve. There's really no need to drag others into this situation. No matter how intelligent you are, you find yourself at a loss for words when this subject comes up. You don't even know where to begin. So leave it alone - for now. By Friday, you'll have a very different view of things. You'll be in a stronger, better-informed position.

okay so for my (amo) real horoscope, WOAH! this is kinda dead on m1. who knew your horoscopes were so good. my overtime pay got taken away this morning, which over the course of the year adds up to a lot. and im kinda freaking out. but i can imagine that it will be okay once i think about it. i am allowed to take them as days off instead. which will be good for all of my spontaneous flights to attend birthday parties around the country.

Virgo:

Daily Horoscope: For November 19: Privately, you worry about someone you care about. This might be a friend, loved one or colleague. You're not sure about how things might work out for this person, physically, professionally or emotionally. This morning and afternoon compound your worries with odd 'coincidences' that begin to seem slightly eerie. You wonder if you're overreacting or reading too much into a situation. Yes, Virgo, you probably are. If you're able to set this inflated problem to the side for a couple days, it will deflate back to an acceptable level on its own. If, however, you worry yourself into a semi-paranoid state, you won't be able to approach this matter in a helpful way. And being helpful is almost always your goal. So, now is the time to detach without guilt, remorse or fear. It's only for two days. You can do that.

ON a seperate note I was just told by "kaboodle girl" who goes to Krugs for a boost of self confidence that she is jealous that shes not involved. She described it as the "popular crowd" that shes not in yet. One would think I was talking about m2 because of the makeup but there is someone equally as bad as her. In fact a few weeks ago she sent me a picture of herself with cucumbers on her eyes to relieve redness. The next day she said her skin felt dry so she put olive oil all over her face. do we have a new blog approaching?? can kaboodle girl take m2's spot?

Team Olson has a heartattack when they see my closet

You can thank the criticism of Team Olson for me buying this FSAD shelf last night and organizing my closet. That was really fun to put together. pause. NOT. I really almost threw it out the window. But don't worry Ms. Independent got it. Next I'll get a curtain to separate the closet part of the room based on ello's suggestion (shakes head no). She should be an interior designer along with part-time jobs as a stand-up comedian and hallmark card writer (shakes head no).

I had weiiiiiiird dreams last night. The main one was that Dad was really upset with Ello and I for not meeting him at the fair (thank AMO's Branding Team Olson for the fair reference) b/c apparently we said we would, but I was too busy drying my hair.... umm. yeah. then Ello and I got in a big fight about it in a CVS and I shoved her into a shelf with plastic stuff on it and she shoved me into one with all glass bottles on it. They broke. Chaos ensued. Then I woke up in Alrington, VA with no glass around me and no fair to attend and I'm pretty sure Dad isn't upset with me. Life is good. Bring on the coffee.

cfl im in this pic now

follower of the week: sbmo

"i was super busy at work today so i didn't have time to fuck around. i did manage to check in on the blog like 20 times though"

(just incase you didnt know, sbmo is your new acroname. yeah. you earned one.)

<3 amo

KMO blogs.

Obvi I am getting a lot of flack for not posting on the blog yet. I am so sorry. Will do better. Thankyouyourewelcome.

So... here I am. :)

These shoes look fun: http://www.piperlime.com/browse/product.do?cid=43590&pid=636593&scid=636593002 I hate getting these Piperlime and JCrew and Gap and Banana Republic and Shopittome and Victorias Secret emails. Sometimes it gets so ridiculous I spend half my morning window shopping online and buy nothing.

Did you watch Brothers and Sisters from Sunday yet Ello? I only have one word for you..... Paul. WTF. also, we will have to have an entire post on B&S soon.

This weekend was truly amazing celebrating my birthday with team olson. I really wish you two didn't leave. But its great that we have next weekend to look forward to. Do you like how every email Dad sends now he has to put in something about how he is shaking his head the opposite way of what he says? He loves it. We'll have to maxx out over Turkey weekend and try to laugh as hard as we did all this past weekend. AMO wait till you see Ello after her surgery on pain medication. Now that is a site to see. She's so funny (shakes head no). Its like shes in 7-11 again (shakes head no). Do you want some advil with those 40's? :)

I have work to do now, sorry guys, I promise I'll blog more soon. I know how much our followers want to hear from me.

I'll leave you with some minor disrespect in the eleventh grade: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v412/NIK282000/Misc/1223512827678.jpg

Love,
Keanu
wtf?

free will astrology

amo's horoscope:
Every second of your life, your bone marrow produces 100 trillion molecules of hemoglobin, the stuff that carries oxygen from your lungs to the rest of you. Meanwhile, every minute, your immune system begets 10 million lymphocytes, which are key players in your body's defenses. These are just two examples of the endless marvels you produce, Cancerian. You are a creator of the first order. You're a supreme maker and a generative genius. Remember that in the coming days. It will help you be confident and purposeful as you birth minor miracles and intimate wonders.

(i am basically god)

m1's horoscope:
For many people, 10:30 a.m. is the single best time of day to come up with fresh insights and new ideas. But that won't exactly be true for you in the coming week. I mean, 10:30 will be a time when you're likely to be really smart, but then so will 11:30, 1:05, 2:37, 3:46, and 4:20. For that matter, 6:35 may also bring a gush of high intelligence, as well as 7:27, 8:19, and the last ten minutes before bedtime. What I'm trying to tell you, Virgo, is that you're in a phase when being brilliant should come pretty naturally.

(m1 is basically einstein)


kmo's horoscope:
The New York Times ran a story about philosopher Nick Bostrom. He believes there's a significant chance our world is actually a computer simulation. In his scenario, you and I are living in a version of The Matrix. Our "brains" are merely webs of computer circuits created by our post-human descendants, who are studying "ancestor simulations" of their past. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, because it's an excellent time for you to find out, one way or another, whether Bostrom is correct. Right now you have a special talent for knowing what's real and what's not. You've also got a knack for escaping what's illusory and gravitating toward what's authentic. So even if you do find out that we're living in The Matrix, you could become a kind of messiah with resemblances to the character that Keanu Reaves played in the film trilogy.

(kmo is.....keanu???)

kmo, i think this is a calling for you to make a f'in post already.

<3 amo

Branding Team Olson

so now that we have a blog, i am officially obsessed with everything team olson (like i wasn't already.....) i think we need business cards, christmas cards, a short novel, a long novel, a dictionary, a band, memorabilia, autographed photos, probably some sort of copyright, a paton for TIU pants (itb?), a cd, paper dolls, barbie dolls, american girl dolls, photo blogs, a joke book, a hallmark store, a booth at a fair, a private jet, a planet, a documentary on PBS, a movie on lifetime, a blockbuster movie, an entry on urbandictionary.com, an entry on wikipedia.com, a fan club (an official one), an essay, a poem, a tv show, a cartoon, a sandwich, a drink, a shot, a spot in webster, a skyscraper, a magazine, and a spot in obamas cabinet.

i'll get crackin on all that immediatley.

<3 amo

i heart the obamas

http://flickr.com/photos/barackobamadotcom/sets/72157608716313371/show/

i am seriously obsessed.

PETA and Lindsay Lohan

seriously what is up with people these days. just because lindsay lohan's wearing a mink coat in Paris this weekend people feel the need to throw flour on her?? i can't believe it. i mean i dont have enough money to afford a mink and if i did I can't imagine i'd buy one but still don't ruin someone elses. (well maybe my grandmother would give me about 10 and then my mother and aunt would steal them and wear them downtown.) I don't know I understand everyone feels differently about a topic like this but that does NOT mean I'm going to ruin someones $30,000 coat. annnnd if someone threw flour in my face no matter what the situation, i'd lose my mind. somehow I think she's not allowed too because she's a "celebrity". grow up and find a better way to preach what you believe.

immaturity doesn't change the world it just makes people mad perhaps they should find a new way to encourage people to stop killing animals.

put the same kind of animal on her doorstep and maybe that will hit a little closer to home than the flour on her nose.
m1

the best remedy in the world is NOT oj

I swear by the best dose of medicine being laughter. not therapy, not airborne, and no not OJ.

It's been a long time since I laughed the way I did this weekend and man did it feel great. There isn't a better feeling than being surrounded by the ones you love and that love you. Especially as we come into another holiday season its so wonderful to be with family and friends again. We are all so blessed to have each other and the ability to be together when we can. While we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, we seem to pick up right where we left off.

let go and laugh as often as you can in this high stress world, things get carried away and we lose track of sisterhood. words can't describe it and if you don't have it, i encourage you to find it.

sisterhood is powerful and all of you mean so much to me.
xoxo,
m1

TEAM OLSON VIDEO CHAT

we video chat when we arent together. just so we can throw more people under the bus.




we have people make guest appearances. like on a talkshow. but cooler.



aww shucks. we even nap when we run out of things to say.

email theteamolson@gmail.com to schedule your guest appearance.
thankyouyou'rewelcome.
<3 amo

La Quinta - Pig Latin for TIU your MBO

About a year and a half ago, we became keen on the idea of talking as efficiently and obnoxiously as possible. Thus, the birth of the team olson acronym phenomenon. If you haven’t been living under a rock for the past decade, you have undeniably seen the start of this era; but unless you are an honorary member/diligent stalker of us, you have not seen it like this. Of course, we use the standard acronyms such as JK, OMG, WTF, BBQ, etc. For those of you who are not aware of our motto “less is never more,” you might be thinking, “oh what? I bet she is going to say they use IDK, LMAO, ROFLCOPTER, and maybe, just maybe, IYKWIM.” Yes, of course we have adopted these into our Acrotionary. But our work is not finished until we can complete and (sometimes) understand an entire sentence in under 10 letters. So, in honor of our language, I am going to present it to you in its entirety. No definitions though. Those are only for potential members.

M1, M2, AML, C&R, c7r, ITB, CFL, TIB, TPPBF, AMO, 2D, 3D, WTW, NM1, BR1, CA, TGGFU, LAL, LYMI, MYMI, NAL, IQYL, TFM, ISHOTHC, ISYOTHC, MMBITAM, COC, MBO, TIU, ILY, IRHW, CUNEXTTUESDAY, JFK, SYWIGT, PO, BO, HH, PN, OC, OOC, DILLIGAF, DWILLWGAF, OCIGAF, TWIS, TWSS, TWHS, AYSTAFG, WSD, WDT, BF, FB, MYOB, INBD, MSP, WB, OMGWTFBBQ, YGAFILY

Itb that I remembered all of them? Tpbbf. Cfl. PO.


LYMI <3 AMO

im thinking of leaving team olson...just kidding

it was my idea to create this blog. just kidding. i hate blogs. just kidding. i invented blogs. just kidding. i dont even know how to post to blogs! just kidding. i am posting on a blog right now. just kidding. i think im in the olson family. just kidding. i am in the olson family. just kidding. people always ask me why my name is amo. just kidding. my name is ao. just kidding. im not really kidding. just kidding. im bout to MBO. just kidding. i TIUed. just kidding. i dont even know what those acronyms mean! just kidding. we made them up today at breakfast. just kidding. we didnt eat breakfast today. just kidding. we went to breakfast and threw everyone that was at the party last night under the bus. just kidding. there wasnt a bus. just kidding. it was a plane. just kidding. it was a 17 hour bus ride. just kidding. it was a 17 hour train ride. just kidding. i have a banana on my p word. just kidding. i'll C U Next Tuesday. just kidding. im smackin out. just kidding. i dont know what smacking out is. just kidding. kirsten? just kidding. abby? just kidding. c anal. just kidding. just kidding. just kidding.

i will never work in the polls again

i dont care if it gets me a better job or if people think i'm doing some sort of good for our country...1 time did it for me. not only do you have to go through a 3 hour training where an extremely large male is profusely sweating all over the place but he spits all over you while he's teaching the class as well. he uses words incorrectly and I dont have 1 person there with me to laugh. the women in front of me is so concerned with showing off her 5 karat diamond that she rubs her husbands back over and over again until i nervously start fidgetting in my chair. then comes in the local newspaper to photograph the class and people awkwardly start doing things in hopes of being published. i love how people want to get there 5 minutes of fame in the local fnp. (btw have you heard the fnp song?) its great.

anyway so after the 3 hour class you get paid $25. wel you are supposed too but i heard you would't receive the check for months and the money has already been accounted for anyway. I mean I did go buy shoes that day that I claimed i was going to use the money for.

so then you have to be at the polls at 6 am. you spend 1 hour of setting up the machines. well i watched and complained to my mother who was also there with me that I already wanted to go home. did i mention that on my way there at 5:30 i saw a good friend of mine running in the dark. do people really do that?

i immediately get placed with this man. i hated him from the 1st minute i sat down. crap my mom always taught me to not say hate. so he starts criticizing me from the first second i sat down. and of course the first person that steps up for me to "sign in" i sign in under the wrong name. the perfect opportunity to do EXACTLY what he wanted to do. i have to call over thhe "chief judge" btw what exaclty is the role of a chief judge? i'll come back to that later. he comes over to fix my first mistake and thats when a line starts forming. it wraps around the entire school and lasts for about an hour. the rest of the entire day every single person that walks in says " wow I expected a line and no ones here. Has it been this way all day?" i reply over and over again about how there was a line in the morning and blah blah blah.

a few hours later a man comes in and the women next to me look him up under his name. hes in the wrong presinct but doesn't know it yet. he proceeds to call them idiots for not having his name spelled correctly. he then opens his shirt that reads "youre a fucking idiot" and yells a few cuss words and storms away.

i have to add in that at one point in the day i break out in hives and think i need benedryl. my throat starts swelling and my face turns completley red. im pretty sure it was from the msg in the chinesse food i'd eaten for dinner. you know the fake meat that you just had to swallow because it wasn't chewable.

the day drags on for about 17 hours and finally its 8 pm and we can shut the polls down. well i'm not allowed to do it because mr. know-it-all sitting next to me has to do it just incase i press the wrong button. you then start closing down, which is the longest drawn out process ever. you post up the results from your polling station on the glass outside because apparently people drive around to look atthe results? srsly, who in their right mind wants to do that? go home and turn on cnn and watch the results.

i get out of there by about 10:30 just in time to pull out of hte parking lot and see this women who worked all day with us has been in a serious accident. i see my mom "the nurse or m2" helping her out. i ask if they need help and i'm told no so i head home.

about 11:30 i hear that obama's won. that makes it all worth it but is it really worth the $150 i made to have a complex now because the man next to me criticized me all day? i did say i would have done it for free but i think i changed my mind.
xoxo m1/ laudster or blogster