Macks part I

Many of you TO bloggers and followers may be aware of what is known as the stoop. Some of you may have witnessed what goes on there and some of you may even have been part of what goes on there. If I'm not mistaken I believe there might have been a blog already written regarding one summer night on the stoop of 31 n market. Really i could write a novel about the stoop but that will be later. This story just begins there.

It was a warm Wednesday night in the middle of June and I was spending my night like most of the summer nights prior to it, drinking beers on the stoop. Out of nowhere the girl from around the corner pulls up in front of the Stoop in a Tahoe (not hers). For blog purposes we will call her Brooke. She yells out the window "lets go to Macks". I yell back "WTF is Macks"? she replies, "get in" so i gulp down my light beer and get in. I see Brooke is dressed to impress with a headband and sneakers. She tells me that Macks is the old Fusions or known by most of us as Lucas McCain's. I'm like"IDK man" she says they got "25 cent drafts on Wednesdays" I'm like "yeah they always have." Right as Brooke is talking me into going to this new and improved Macks She gets a call. We will say the callers name is the Persian Prince (PP) as referenced in a previous blog. He says hes got a posse at Brewers and needs picked up. So we head up there and pick up about five of the worst looking hooligans I've ever seen. Once we enter Macks i realize that it is the exact same bar that I was going to around the age of 19 so i order a tray of drafts for $5 and drink my pain away. I post up in a chair against the wall while Brooke, PP and Hooligans mingle with the laid back country folk. About an hour later i realize that i have to be in Bethesda at 7:30am for a CT Scan. I think Fuck me I'm already drunk but i keep drinking. Then right about the time I'm ready to leave Brooke pulls me up to the dance floor right by the mirrors so we can look at ourselves to see how bad we dance. I then notice that there is a gaping hole in her jeans right in the Vag area. I say to her during our bump and grind session, " whats that for easy access"? the whole time Birthday sex is playing. Finally it is time to leave and me, PP and Brooke head to the Tahoe that is not registered to any of us. We all decide that none of us are sober enough to drive so Brooke starts the car and backs up. Bang. Is the sound it made when she backed into the car directly behind us. And we're off. She is flying and swerving on our way to sheetz on Rosemont. We pull into Sheetz with another bang. this time the wall in front of us and PP grabs the keys and says to Brooke, " no more driving for you" while 5 cops watch this go down. Once inside the Sheetz it was like Romper Room. We played hide and go seek in the isles. I turn the corner to get a full back of chips smashed in my face by Brooke. PP then holds her down and i gun an orange at her. Thud is the noise it makes when it hits her back. I then stiff arm her to the ground right in front of the drink coolers while customer are trying to get drinks. Then comes PP around the corner with Porno mags that he has taken out of the plastic and is flipping through them. The people that work at Sheetz yell to us "you guys need to grow up" so i go outside. Once outside i stumble upon a group of Janitors from hood college that look like the Beverly Hillbillies before they struck oil. I ask them what they do over there at Hood, you guys slinging mops? they say no we are janitors. Later they tell me that they live on McCain drive and are going to walk there and its 330 am. The one guy said he once walked 36 miles and turned right back around and walked the 36 miles back. I later find out they are MD HS football statistical geniuses and knew specific plays in my own career. Right about then PP and Brooke come out and I shake the Janitors hands and we go our separate ways. The entire time back there is a food fight going in the car with Brooke's fries and Ketchup, luckily PP is driving. We finally pull onto church st and park. We all get out, Brooke is still violent, PP and myself are peeing in the middle of the street with our back to each other. I look up and see a cop turning into the street from Bentz. It was a miracle that i knew the cop and he just drove past us. We all go inside and we are safe. I look at the clock as i am about to go to sleep and it was well after 430am. I make it to my CT scan in Bethesda at 730 then i have to drink some of the worst shit ever. I'm still drunk but i don't puke. I think about last nights events while on the scanning table and smile. Just another night in the summer of Barnes.

PB