Monday, February 23, 2009

i finally found what i'm supposed to be doing...

Photobucket

can you see me in there? yup thats me. my new profession.
m1

Friday, February 13, 2009

i can read the future

and it has told me about 11/14/09. can't wait!!!

wedding fever!

mh and chris got married!!!! boy did he grow up to be a tall young chap...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Wednesday Dinners with Dad


Every other Wednesday or so Dad and I get to have dinner in DC after his doctor's appointment in the area. I always look forward to it and we have the best time. If you could see me when I leave these dinners, you'll probably be hard-pressed to find someone with a bigger smile.

Tonight was funny because I pull up, he asks where I want to eat, I ask where he wants to eat, and though we both know the restaurants we have to choose from, neither of us offer up any choices. We tried the Italian place 3 visits in a row because we both hate change then last time we got adventurous and tried a cool new place so I'm assuming we are on the trend of trying another. Then Dad says, "Lets just go to McDonalds." If you know Dad/2d you know he's rarely serious about anything, so he's obvi joking. So, since its 70 degrees in February we walk up to the first place we see after I parallel park my car and he comments "wow! quite the little parker you are!" Yes, Dad, I am quite the little parker.

Anyhow we walk up to the first place we see that has people sitting at tables outside. Its mediterranean food and called Meddaterra or something. We both stare at the menu outside silently for a solid minute (minet for some people). I know I am thinking FSAD what is all this crap and what the F would i order. When has team olson ever eaten mediterranean food? Then I find some bland chicken on the menu. I just googled the menu and apparently their website is temporarily (read: permanently or always been) out of order. Okay, now at least if he chooses this place I have my order picked. But he won't choose this place anyhow, it's too weird. Pitas and hummus... ehh we aren't really hipsters. He says we should look inside and see what that is like since the tables outside are all full. The atmosphere is fine.

We go inside, and by both of our indecision/codependence end up immediately seated at a table. He seems to be enjoying it. So he asks what Im going to order and I defer to what is he getting. He obviously likes this place. He immediately says "I have no idea what any of this crap is. I don't want any of it." and laughs so hard.

So, we stay. He orders some random ass crap that he only gets because he gets the waitress to promise that she thinks he will like it and I get chicken which comes with french fries, which seems odd. I get ranch dressing and as AMO does, proceed to cover everything in it until I am basically just enjoying ranch dressing with a side of fries and chicken. oh, and coronas for $3. also, when the waitress first arrives she says Miller Lites, Coronas are $2 and chicken wings and hummus are free. "FREE?" - Dad. "No, THREE." - Waitress "I was gonna say! Fiiiine I guess we'll have it if we have to." - Dad hahahahahha. greg you like that?
At one point I say the word granted, but I pronounce it granite and he corrects me. I laugh. How long have I been saying it like that? FML.

We stay for over 2 hours upon which its 10pm and he has to drive back home to fred and get to bed. its late for a worknight i guess.

He hands me a card that he says he wants me to have. Its a card from an old friend of my Aunt Lisa, who died before I was born in a plane crash. It's a card my Grandmother, Abbie, wrote to the friend a month after I was born. She talks in it about my birth and how life was going. My Grandmother also is no longer with us and the thought of her writing about me immediately brings me to tears. She is one of the single most important people in my life and not a day goes by that I dont wish I had the chance to know her longer.

This is more like a diary than a blog entry, but CFL :)

Valentines Day lunch on Sat with M1 and then cafe asia for my hair after that. Snow this weekend. Normal after today was 70 degrees. pause. noy.

KO

M1 horoscope update

Cause I am a terrible person and thought she was a leo. FML.

M1 (Virgo):

"The person one loves never really exists," said Arthur C. Clarke, "but is a projection focused through the lens of the mind onto whatever screen it fits with least distortion." Your assignment, Virgo, is to prove Clarke at least partially wrong. See if you can figure out a way to dissolve or elude your own projections long enough so that you can see the raw truth about a certain person you crave or adore or care about. Not a reflection of the dream lover who hides in your heart. Not a fantasy you wish your beloved would become. But the perfectly imperfect soul who is actually there in front of you.

Ahh that suits you better M1. much much better.

Til next time,
amo

a collection of short stories.

1. vball week 4.

last weeks volleyball game was not too exciting, hence the reason i have not written about it yet. our game was downtown in the financial district at some school that's right next to a prison underneath the brooklyn bridge. its a PITA to get to, and its not helping that it has already snowed 4 inches that day. great, FML. we played a team we have already played and they kicked our ass in all 3 games cause the lesbian ref had a crush on the lesbian girl on the other team and called everything in their favor. door and beanpole didn't show up - which led to the rest of us speculating that they were in the principals office making out or maybe out to a romantic dinner at some edgy place in the village talking about how much they hate everyone but themselves. we go to the bar afterward which THANKFULLY is right across the street from the gym and the prison - and we go ahead and order 3 pitchers to keep up tradition. we also order food cause it's 8:30 and none of us have eaten dinner. I play it safe and order a grilled cheese and french fries. cause you can't fuck up a grilled cheese, right? its butter, bread, and cheese. well, apparently i am wrong. the "grilled cheese" comes out open face style: 2 slices of toasted stale bread side by side that i think have been microwaved to melt cheese on top. the french fries look like they exited the fryer about 3 weeks ago and have been sitting in a warmer ever since. there is also a tablespoon of coleslaw on the side from 1902 and a pickle that has seen much better days. doesn't this sound appetizing? i go ahead and pour the entire bottle of ketchup all over everything in attempt to make it somewhat edible. turns out that wasn't the best idea. FML. so while we are all eating this FSAD meal, we are also talking about how depressing the economy is and how we are all scared about getting laid off. we stop drinking after 3 pitchers and go home. now can you see why i didn't want to write about it? most depressing shit ever.


2. br1's brothers "show"

so for those of you that do not know, br1's brother is in a band here in nyc. they were just named one of the top ten bands to look out for in 2009 by some hipster ezine. so br1 and i try to show our support as much as possible and go to their shows. last saturday was definitely one of the more interesting venues i have been to. it was in a weird cusp of brooklyn between east williamsburg and bushwick where people between the ages of 12 and 20 hang out outside of laundry city heckling each other and everyone else that passes by. we don't leave our apartment til 10:30 pm cause it is a really late show, and all i am hoping for is a bar stool and a nice cold $2 pbr. we get to the block that the venue is on and every single storefront is gated off and closed except one that looks like the entrance to an apartment building. this hipster of all hipsters peeks her head out of that door and waves us over asking us what we are looking for. we tell her we are with the band and she lets us in the door. sketchy. so we go into this hallway and walk up a set of stairs to a space that has 4 doors - all to peoples bedrooms. one of them is open and there is a girl sitting on the bed applying her full face. all of the other ones are closed. there is also something you could possible describe as a "kitchen" in this area - basically a hot plate and a microwave with some dishes stacked on top. Then there is a back room that is completely empty of all furniture sans one table that has a leopard print cloth on it and 3 bottles of grain alcohol, a can of pineapple juice, 3 liters of sprite, and some gummy worms. turns out these are the ingredients to make the "drink" they will be selling this evening. the hipster girl starts mixing all of these ingredients together in one of those huge orange coolers that you keep water or gatorade in at a sports game. i'm thinking that it is gonna be some sweet drink with a gummy worm as a garnish. turns out i was mistaken. in the end - these ingredients ended up making "gummy worm shooters" where you just eat the gummy worm like a jello shot - 2 for a dollar. br1 chose to partake in this and said it was like slimy fire burning his throat/esophagus/stomach. i opted out and chose to drink their only other drink for sale - 16 oz. cans of king cobra malt liquor. i wouldn't recommend it. so we are all standing around trying to stomach these liquids while the first band is setting up and eating chinese take-out at the same time. they are 3 college kids that look like they are stoned beyond all recognition and as soon as they are done their dinner they start playing music. its basically just a jam session with no actual songs or breaks between anything - just 20 straight minutes of beats that changed every 10 seconds. br1s brothers band decided they were gonna set up second so we can leave ASAP cause its turning into an all ages house party where everyone is getting FUBAR from eating gummys. they play their set and we leave immediately before the place gets busted by cops. and cause it's already 2:30 am.


3. vball week 5.

last night was another night of volleyball downtown. again - not too much happened. we get to the gym - our entire team is there (besides door) and the other team has 4 people. easy win? we think so. we will have a 2 person advantage the entire time, and we will constantly have fresh people entering the game. we are getting excited - this might be the change we need. win some games - and then get pumped enough to continue our winning streak through the rest of the season. turns out - we suck! we lost all 3 games. against 4 people. FML. how can we even be that bad? i dont really get it. we all run around like a bunch of idiots bumping into each other, falling all over the place, making the ref and everyone else in the gym laugh so hard at our failure. the best part about the whole evening is braceface moving over to the dark side and talking trash about the lame couple on our team - champion and douchedan. douchedan has this habit of clapping his hands when he serves the ball. he throws the ball up, claps his hand, then does this awkward jump and hits the ball - usually resulting in it barely making it to the net, and landing on our side of the court. then champion turns around and snaps at him with some bitchy comment. so after the 4th time this happened, braceface leans into me and says "dude, i bet she beats him when they go home." fucking brilliant. then he went a little too far and said "i wonder if he claps like that when they are doing it." vom. i dont want to imagine the granola couple naked. so after we lose all 3 games and our entire team has been put on suicide watch for depression, we decide that the only thing that will make us feel better is beer. so we head over to the same ol' raunchy bar as last week and order 3 pitchers of ice cold coors light. as we are drinking, TW cant stop talking about how 2D was his dentist and i'm about to lose it on him cause i think he is trying to weasel his way into team olson. beanpole starts talking about how him and door got into a lovers quarrel but wouldn't go into much detail about it. ZSportsDude3000 is getting all mad that we are talking about other people on our team behind their back. fuck your ass Zsportsdude3000. go join another league. so we didn't stay for long because nothing interesting was happening and we were all so hungry and didn't want to eat stale food. hopefully we will have a good week soon to bring the stories back up to a decent level.

alright, thats all i've got for now. this weekend is a ski trip with br1 + all the girls from my volleyball team + goebs. i'm sure i'll get a nice juicy story out of that one for ya.

xoxo fya,

amo

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"I Cry At Myself To Sleep At Night" by MH

After the best week of our lives KMO, AMO, and I went to Mount St. Mary's soccer camp. We thought it would be the biggest let down of our lives. Little did I know I would find the love of my life. And by love I mean not at all, and by life I mean yeah right. The story of soccer camp itself is utterly ridiculous. The only important fact is that I pretended to be British all week. A boy named Chris was fascinated by the fact that I was from a different country and immediately fell in love.... without telling me. When I returned home from camp I received the following letter in the mail.


KMO & M1 do you have that shade of lipstick in your spare room? Im sure Chris would love to have any extra Mary Kay samples you have.

Monday, February 9, 2009

i forgot MH! how could i? FMA

get your ass back to NYC MH. 

MH (pisces):

Many Americans believe China is a society that puts an abnormally high emphasis on keeping its citizens in line through punishment. But the truth is that only 1.2 percent of China's 1.3 billion people are in the slammer, whereas the U.S. has jailed 7.7 percent of its population of 300 million. In other words, my home country has a much higher percentage of our people behind bars than they do. I bring this to your attention, Pisces, as a prod to free some of the parts of yourself that you've imprisoned. Declare amnesty for the miscast captives and repressed workers within you. Bring the level down from the U.S. rate of incarceration to the Chinese level.

let out all those little people you have inside of you? 

astrology report

its been so long since anyone has written on the blog i was beginning to think it didn't exist. then i remembered that i haven't written either. here is some filler horoscope action while i try to think of something better to write about. 

KGREE (Gemini):

Scientists say that 90 percent of your brain is composed of fat. My own investigations have revealed, on the other hand, that less than 20 percent of your soul is made of fat. So the two balance each other out pretty well. In the coming days, however, I expect that both your brain and soul will be adding the equivalent of more lean, highly toned muscle. As a result, your mental acuity should increase as well as your spiritual insight. You're likely to be getting smarter and wiser. I hope you will bring these growing abilities to bear on every important decision. Alone, neither is enough.

i always knew you were a fat girl inside.

AMO (Cancer):

Born in 1822, my great-great-great grandfather Edward Dembowski was a bohemian philosopher and columnist who led a revolutionary struggle to liberate Poland from plutocrats and foreign occupation. A feminist long before most European men entertained the issue of women's liberation, he edited a journal that was the main organ of the "Enthusiasts," who fought for women's rights. He's one of my heroes! I invite you, Cancerian, to delve into your own ancestry to see if there are inspirational role models like Dembowski. According to my reading of the astrological omens, it's an excellent time to activate more of your dormant genetic potentials. One good way to do that: Use your imagination to establish psychic and spiritual links to your admirable forebears.

worst horoscope ever. FML. 

M1 (Leo):

Dating your first cousin? I don't recommend it anytime soon. Likewise, I'm here to talk you out of surrounding yourself with people who always agree with you, and I hope you won't try to milk an old resource for the same help it has provided countless times. In the foreseeable future, Leo, please downplay and de-emphasize the kinds of unions that result from like attracting like. Instead, think cross-fertilization. Catalyze exotic blends, unexpected combinations, and mergers of elements that have never been mixed.

Are we sure you aren't related to B? hehe jk. call me up if you want me to say no to you about something. 

KMO/sbmoTTO (Scorpio):

I've got three questions for you, Scorpio. First, where will you go next to satisfy that special need of yours -- you know, the need that demands ever-fresh varieties of fuel? Second, who will you enlist in your ongoing efforts to change your environment so that it's more compatible with your drives? And third, what helpful influences will you seek to attract into your sphere as you upgrade and refine your ambitions? The coming weeks will be a good time to cultivate your web of alliances as you address these questions.

i'll just go ahead and answer these for you two:

1. teamolsonblog.blogspot.com
2. maybe this means you will recruit some new writers, we are slacking huh?
3.  helpful influences? tequilla shots always work for me. 


fya, 
amo