The "photography" of the gff

This will set the scene for how I felt about the photography exhibit at the gff this year. This photograph, of a man looking like he's pooping on a lawn mower while reading the paper is an award-winning picture. I do not have any effing clue why. Love those crocs though. ;)

This is a Starbucks cup that has seen some better days. Its not in focus and its boring as hell to look at. Hell, submit it to the gff! They'll love it!

This next photograph illustrates my next point quite nicely. Take a picture of anything in Frederick with a disposable camera/camera phone/use a crayon and you'll get a ribbon.
Within the Christmas section, I found this gem. It is a ornament hanging at the bottom of the Christmas tree. And yes, it ALSO has a ribbon. What about this picture is interesting to look at? I wouldn't even spend more than 2 seconds eyeing up this scene, let alone grab my camera and start clicking. Rude.

Life-rings? CFL. Ribbon. Cfl.
Blue ribbon for the sno-cone syrup containers? Oh comeon. give me a break.
Who in Frederick knows David Hasselhoff???????
Alison, I know you will freakin love this one. Friends forever bracelets around a candle. Hi, sixth-grade-batmitva called, they want their party favor back. The wax hand and colored sand in a bottle miss you :)
This kid. This kid. What do I say about this kid? He's eating a philly cheesesteak from the authentic place, genos. That still doesn't make it like it even just a little bit. Oh, wait I lied! He's doing the itbS so I kind of love it. :-D RIBBON-WORTHY! WIN!
Now, this. This is rude. M1, lets do this on the way to our next trip. Kelly, we will set up a tripod for this scene next time. We'll do a photo shoot with our millions of pairs of sunglasses from team o vacay on everyone of the beanie babies we still have in mom's marykay room at the house. pause. naht.
This picture : me

"it's 5 o'clock somewhere" : Lauren

if you also took an SAT prep class, you'll be able to figure out the connection here.
WHAT IS HE DOING? Is that his new mini-cooper? Perfect.

He looks so creepy.
This is why I'm going to the allergy dr M1 just went to in a few weeks. I hate cats. This picture is so stupid. Is it a staples advertisement?
Look closely, can you see the praying mantis on the confectioners sugar box? Still don't get it? Me neither. It makes me laugh though that it is in gff.
Jumping pictures. Just like team olson vacay. Next year, they are going in. mark my words.
She got TWO awards for this crap!?!?! FSAD.

Glamor shots 2009. Say no more. Crimp your hair and meet me at the Cherry Blossom festival in April in DC everyone. We have some work to do.
Zoe is also going in the gff next year. f this dog and his empty look.

Alison, you hate deer. So this is for you. How rude.Also, award-winning black and white photography. Looks sort of like a neutrogena ad. Or a Dr. Olson ad. hehehe.
And just so you know, this is a blue-ribbon winning (sort of like our elementary school) photograph of a stuffed dalmatian in front of a dry erase board picture of a dalmatian. POOL PARTIES ARE BACK!
Lastly, the cliche fishing pic. FHA.

This is what we are wearing to the gff next year.

This is what we wore this year. Let's just say we didn't fit in.

Does this little boy have a stuffed whale in his pocket or is he excited to see M1?
Oh, yeah, and we are all getting these posters next year to decorate our homes. I actually bought this one b/c I thought it turned out better than the one of Lauren and I. itbS?

the food of the gff

I'd like to take a minute to show those of you who missed the great frederick fair this year some of the award-winning food submissions.

First off, we have these cakes. If you cannot read the bottom of the cake below, I will gladly help you out. It says "Mt. Airy Skating Rink." Is that enough said? Maybe not. The only other thing worth saying here is that yes, those are gummy bears skating on the rink wrapped in twizzlers. And yes, the one on the top won an award. WTF? Is that an orange swimming pool? Skating rink? I've seen Zoe ice a cake better than that.
Next up we have this award-winning lunch food presentation. I think the cake is supposed to resemble a picnic basket? A table cloth? I'm out of ideas. Anyhow this one is actually pretty good and shows some skills so I'm not going to hate on it. :)

This.... on the other hand is rude. First of all, those fries look straight-up disgusting. When have McDonalds fries ever looked like that? They look more like Roy Rogers fries anyhow. Get with it. Second of all, if you saw that cake-burger in person, you would probably never eat cake or burgers again in your life. I don't know how they made the "bun" look like that but they should neverdoitagain. Fritchie's has way better looking 'shakes than that also. Where do you think they got that tray from? Did they steal it from the chat -n- chew or from grandma's attic? There are also black ribbons hanging from the tray. I don't know if that means they hated it, but I hope so.

What do you even say about this muffin bear below? I'll leave it open for comments.

This is actually kind of impressive. Is that half a person laying there or are they stuffing a scarecrow? I hope the latter. A cake with a murder scene on top isn't exactly in good taste.

We'll end with this... let me just tell you that if Lauren had submitted cupcakes and they had lost to this plate of stuff, she probably would have been pissed enough to write a scathing letter to the editor to the FNP. (its for my family) or moved out of Frederick. I would not (read: kind of) want to see that scene. The cupcakes on the right are corn on the cob. When have you ever wanted cupcakes that looked like corn on the cob?

Thank you for reading,

K

the definition of m1's voice

	September 25, 2009 Urban Word of the Day: UPPER CASE VOICE! Noun. to raise your voice or accentuate part (correction for m1: ALL) of a sentence to stress significance as you would while typing in the digital world. "HI GIRLS! YOU'RE PRETTY I LIKE YOU" "I WANT TO BE A HIPPIE HIPSTER VEGAN" "LETS DRINK SPRITZERS IS THAT BAD?!?!!!!!"

Adam jones and the lunch bunch at the gff

vintage team o appearing in the arts and antiques all over the world.

I just called one of my clients about an ad and this is what he just told me.. 2 years ago I bought a piece of artwork at a store downtown. Apparently they took a picture of us with Sabzi the artist, and the picture my mom bought (and then returned typs). They actually used this as an ad in a magazine somewhere. i'm wearing my vintage team o shirt, glasses and running pants, wtf? http://collectorseditions.com/pages/article.php?nID=156

Kmo and her twin at the fair

Quatro Dos Seis

One night after the bars we decided to take it to the stoop to continue the party. The scene was this... PMJ, Me, and a person will call the Persian Prince (PP) were just sitting throwing a few back. Then PP was approached by an old high school buddy. The buddy saw the scene and instantly inserted himself. Wasnt asked.... wasnt invited... just sat down and decided to stay. Whatevs. This wouldnt have been a problem until this character started talking about his sexual escapades. I dont know if he thought this was a big dick contest or what but he immediately started discussing a sexual endurance. No one asked. NO ONE.

" Yeah well I think I could easily be in porn. I mean I see things they do in those movies and in the magazines and I think its way easy. I mean when I have sex I go for at least 4 to 6 hours. The first 2 hours I spend just eating pussy."

Responses were as follows:

PMJ - " What the fuck?!"

PP - ***Laughter***

MH - ***Anger***

At that point I wanted to tell this dude to get the hell off the stoop. First of all you werent invited, and second of all dont dirty up the stoop with your trash talk about eating box for a ridiculous amount of time buddy. So I called him a douche and had to exit stage left.

Which brings me to my point... I feel all of us women can thank porn stars for giving this false idea that we LOOOOOVVVEEEEEE having sex for HOURS! No sorry. Not true. Unless your Sting and youre in some type of trance thats not happening. I have things to do... Ok? I dont need to lay under you for 4 to 6 hours. I need to eat dinner, go pick up my dry cleaning, or go to Yoga.... or whatever!!! Who cares! Im not into laying on my back watching the top of your head for 2 hours. I mean maybe if I was doing a wicked Sudoku but even then I need all the concentration I can get. So start spreading the word. Get in and get out.

MH

Daily intention

I'm recently obsessed with setting a daily intention. It can be 1 word or a phrase. Today mine is reminding me to just let go of whatever it is that's weighing on my mind. What's yours?

worst facebook status of the day going under the bus.

this is a realtor in town's annoyingly ridiculous girlfriends facebook status . at the bottom i will post her photos of her in a bathing suit for your comments.



Status::

Opinion on love: If a boy/girl breaks up with their significant other multiple times, does that always means that they aren't meant for eachother?

2 hours ago · Comment · Like / Unlike



awkward commenter 1: Maybe....but then there's a reason why they keep going back to each other.



awkard lol'er: You need to evaluate what causes the breakups. Sometimes they are conflicts that can easily be resolved w/o having to breakup. Spoken from a former chronic dumper lol. I'd break up when I got mad. Then we'd be back together once I calmed down, lol. I don't know how I kept boyfriends for as long as I did, lol.



awkward commenter 2: absolutely yes

awkward commenter 3: something brings them back together each time, so SOMETHING must be there :)2 hours ago

awkward commenter 4: I don't think the term 'meant for eachother' should exist but aside from that. . . It's unfair to the person who keeps getting the shaft b/c the other can't make up their mind. No one should waste time on someone who's that wishy-washy. I'm sure there are plent of other 'fish' who would appreciate that person in a healthy relationship.about an hour ago

and this is the photo shoot she put online of herself: she claims she used to be a football cheerleader and is practiciing her poses for the calendar she is trying out for. uhhh..........




push those boobs together honey.


amos comments:
okay okay okay okay okay. WHAAAT?!?!? my mind is exploding with comments. ill start from the beginning:
1. whats her profile pic? her signing a check at a bank teller?
2. that status is not an OPINION on love. that is a QUESTION about it. get it right idiot.
3. lol'er should be arrested for her abuse of LOL
4. YES it means you are not meant for eachother. example - the amo/jeffrey a chronicles. not to mention the fact that you are talking about the boy who called kmo flat in 6th grade.
5. the early 90's called, they want their photo album back.
6. OMG pageant hair.
7. OMG belly button ring.
8. OMG wood paneling, is this at the beach house from 2 years ago?
9. were these pics on facebook? i'm about to report them to the facebook police. file it under "trying too hard"
10. the one good thing about her: she nailed the itbS in that first picture :-D